Today was my last day of my Esther study. The video was phenomenal. I laughed, I cried. It was unbelievable. As I did the last day of homework yesterday I felt the tears well up in my eyes and as they splashed onto the page I felt like Esther had become one of my best girlfriends. One I can't wait to meet someday and ask her all kinds of questions....like did you ever have thoughts like maybe you weren't brought here "for such a time is this" and did you feel like God had forgotten you????? I know that I feel that way sometimes but studying His word and studying a book like Esther I am gently reminded we are NEVER forgotten and we all have a purpose and EVERYTHING we go through has a purpose.
Esther was another wild ride in God's word. I remember the very first Bible study that captured my heart(it occurs to me I never told my whole testimony here on the blog - I will work on that). His Word literally leaped off the page for the first time in my life and I have loved every minute of it ever since. I hope when I die I am right smack in the middle of a really awesome Bible study. In those quiet times when He speaks to me so loud and clear I just become overwhelmed with emotion. He loves us ladies. He's got us in His hands. It is amazing.
If you think about it pray for me tonight. I have the opportunity to speak to a group of inner city teens with SVPS. I will be sharing with them my post abortion testimony. I am struggling the most with this age group because this is how old I would have been when I had my abortion. I know their struggles. I know their insecurities. They are etched in my mind to never be forgotten. I never want to forget the pit I was pulled from. Pray that God speaks clearly through me the things they need to hear.
Well, I want to leave you with something I read in my last day of homework. It was etched on the wall of a Nazi concentration camp. Take a deep breathe. Read them slowly and let them sink in.
I believe in the sun, even when it's not shining.
I believe in love, even when I do not feel it.
I believe in God, even when He is silent.