Saturday, August 1, 2009

So much to say, So little time....

I can't hardly begin to put into words what is happening here this weekend. I have been blown away. Today was another amazing day. Just as soon as something happened that I was dying to share with you all something else would happen. I didn't know if I wanted to tell you about how well I slept or the fabulous breakfast I had.

Then I wanted to share with you all the new people I am meeting. I am here alone and it has forced to me to reach out and connect.

Or maybe I should share how awesome worship has been with Cheri Keaggy or the profound lessons I learned in all my sessions today.

But then maybe it would be better to share with you the enormous way God showed up today. I don't even know if I can put it into words that you will understand. I had to do a presentation today and be evaluated. I had 5 minutes to do a teaching talk and at 5 minutes you had to stop. I don't know how to say anything in 5 minutes. I love to talk and I love words! Anyway, I have a life message about taking our thoughts CAPTIVE. You can read more about it here. Originally I was going to share from this. It is my heart. It has changed my life. I didn't think it could be taught in 5 minutes so I picked another topic and I struggled and I struggled and I struggled some more. I had to present at 5:00. I came back to my room at 4:00 to put the finishing touches on the message and rehearse. Instead I picked up a book that I had purchased(why when I am supposed to be working???). Inside the book I found a piece of paper with this written on it:

My name is here:
Yah or Yaj
"I AM"
The One who is the self-existent One. God never changes. His promises never fail. When we are faithless, He is faithful. God promises His continuing presence.
Exodus 3:14 & 15:2, Psalm 46:1 & 68:4, Isaiah 26:4

I was blown away. I tried to incorporate it into my talk. I practice and I practiced and nothing felt right. When it was 4:55 and I was almost to tears I threw up my hands and said I can't do this. I told God whatever He wanted He would have to show me. I left for my evaluation. Even as I sat there I did not know what I was going to talk about. My turn came. I stood up with only my Bible and the book with the note in it. I left my other notes behind. I started speaking and in 5 minutes I presented my talk on taking thoughts CAPTIVE. I hadn't practiced it. I didn't need to. It has been a life message that God has worked through with me over and over again. It couldn't have gone better. Why?? Because I am such a gifted speaker, you ask???? NOT!!! Because it is the message that God wanted me to share. He is the I AM when I am not. I didn't need to perfect anything I just needed to be obedient. The thing I didn't think I had time to say God made work because it is what He wanted me to say. I later found out that the note must of gotten left in the book by accident. By the person leaving it, not by God of course. He knew ahead of time what I needed to see. There is a prayer room and all of our names were put on different names of God and that was prayed for us leading up to the conference. I went in after I spoke and found my name on "Jehovah-Jireh" - The Lord will provide. And provide He did. He ordained it for me to get that note so I would let go of what I thought would work and let the I AM do His work. Afterwards He showed me that He did indeed provide. I don't get my evaluations until tomorrow when we leave and I am not supposed to read them until I get home. Do you think the airplane would be close enough????

Maybe you want to hear about Jennifer Rothschild's life changing message about ministry grounding us, refining us, and not defining us. She is blind. She was e-mailed all of our names. Her computer read all the names to her and she prayed for each of us and as she prayed she asked, "who is she God?". Can you believe she prayed for me by name?

After that I would love to share with you the tears that ran down my face when we sang "It Is Well With My Soul" and "Great Is Thy Faithfulness". I was struck by the fact that I was there. Who would have ever guessed that the girl who was so shy and self-conscious that she did not eat a bite of lunch all through high school and who fell into a pit of sin so deep she almost drown would be sitting in a place like this alone eating, sleeping, learning, fellowshipping and most amazingly speaking. Who knew??

And lastly do I tell of meeting Jennifer Rothschild face to face. She is truly as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. I thanked her from all of us ladies that did her study "Me, Myself, and Lies" this summer.

Wow! What a day. Thank you for your prayers, your words of encouragement, and your support. Have a blessed night!


Anonymous said...

I was there....

Lysa TerKeurst said...

What a beautiful recap of She Speaks... thank you for sharing.

My heart feels full reading about how Jesus met you at She Speaks!