In the multitude of my anxieties within me,
Your comforts delight my soul. ~Psalm 94:19
Tuesday I drove up to Jersey City, New Jersey loaded all of my sons things onto the back of a pick up truck and drove to Brooklyn, New York. Now if you don't already know this when you go from Jersey City to Brooklyn you go through the Holland tunnel right into the city. My hands clenched the steering wheel of the borrowed pick up truck as I prayed nothing would fly off the back.
This was the third time in 2 years that I have moved this child to a strange, far away place and left him there. There was so much anxiety in the moving, the driving, and most of all the letting go. I could just feel the multitude of anxieties rising within me and a war raging in my mind. What if this isn't a good move? What if his neighbourhood isn't safe? What if his roommates aren't good? What if, What if what if…..
I live my life in the "what if's" sometimes. And let me tell you there a multitude of what if's that we wrap ourself in. Fear, anxiety, stress, and struggling to control the uncontrollable can consume us. The "what if's" can make us crazy but what I have come to realize is that when I am consumed by those thoughts there is actually a lie I am believing about God. Somewhere buried deep within that thought process I am believing that God won't come through. That He isn't trustworthy. That He doesn't care. That He can't take care of me or my family. That He isn't enough. When I refuse to let go I may think I am being godly but really I am just trying to be God.
In that moment of anxiousness I had a choice to make. I could let go decide to let the truths I know about God control my thoughts and actions and let His comforts delight my soul or I could choose to keep believing the lie. I chose to let go and believe God. In doing that the situation often doesn't change but how I handle it does. I can have joy amidst the most stressful of situations and I can have the comfort that God wants to provide for me. All I need to do is reach out and take it but we can't reach out if we are holding on tightly to our need to control. We can not continue to grip tightly to control and grab onto God and His promise of comfort.
So this week hang on loosely. No matter what situations you encounter let His comforts delight your soul. Know that He is enough and trust that He will provide and He does care!
We don't need to control everything all we need to do is allow God to have control of our everything.