Choosing Today

Radical Revival Recap

2012-01-17T20:05:00.002-05:00

Day 12.

353 to go.

Goal: Radical Revival

12 days in and this has been much harder than I imagined. You see the bottom line is in order to be radically revived you really need to allow God access to every part of your heart.

You need to completely die to yourself.

You need to completely change your thought process.

Impossible....No.

Painful....yes, at times.

The last several days have taken me to passages that have caused me to evaluate things like:

being humble
where do I put my hope
do I delight in His Word
do I sow in peace
how do I handle anger

Oh and my favorite:

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. ~Ephesians 5:22

Those of you who know me I give permission for you to chuckle....for those who don't, yes I am a little bit(ahem)feisty! In fact that morning I wish I would have opened to something in the Old Testament that instructed me to sacrifice a goat in my backyard....it would have been easier for me.

Anyway, I am learning to seek Him and search His Word and use what I read in His Word to search my heart and clean out all the yuck that is in there.

I hope to be able to check in more often. i would love to hear from you. How is 2012 going for you? Any radical revival's out there?

Busy here preparing to speak 3 times in the next week. Pray for His Words to flow through me because if He does not show up I am worthless on my own!

Grace to all!

Day 3 Radical Revival

2012-01-08T14:41:00.003-05:00

Day 3.

362 to go.

Goal: Radical Revival

Today is day 3. I would like to say that I am flying high and on cloud nine and that this is easy as pie. It is not. Day 1 required me to examine my heart and to evaluate...do I really seek Him with ALL of my heart. Answer...No. So in 2012 I am taking strides to do this walk with ALL of my heart not just the pieces I feel like.

Day 2 I found myself in John 11. After reading and rereading verses 40, 41, and 44b I felt like it was time to:

1. believe
2. give thanks
3. take off the dang grave clothes...I am dead no more

As I said before I am reading Ann Voscamp's 1000 Giftsand I am realizing with no uncertainty that gratitude is an issue for me. I am thankful all right for the things that go my way but heaven forbid they do not. So step number 2 above of give thanks and what that looks like is changing for me. I started my list of a thousand gifts and it has been pretty amazing.

And then as I sat here in the quiet hours of the morning this morning all alone, with just the hum of the refrigerator and the jingle jangle of my two dog's collars as they sat beside me begging for attention, I did it again. I opened the Word and I begged for a revelation. I cried out to Him.

If we seek Him we will find Him.

If we seek Him we will find Him.

If we seek Him we will find Him.

The pages fall open ever so gently to Hebrews. The end of chapter 6. I read and I ponder and I wait. And wait. And wait. As I wait I see the sun starting to rise over the houses across the street and I am taken back at the beauty of the colors that are splashed and splattered across the sky, the work of an artist, and I watched as the sun rose high into the sky and it hit me. Like a ton of bricks. The sun rises and sets each day in its wondrous beauty keeping time whether I watch or not. Whether there is peace or tragedy. Whether I feel empty or full. No matter what disaster befalls us or blessing we receive it does not stop. How many beautiful mornings have I missed?

That's when I got it. Verse 15:

And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.

After waiting. After waiting patiently. After waiting patiently Abraham received. How often do I sit with my hands open to the heavens wanting to receive NOW. No patience. Now....not wanting to wait. Wanting what I want when I want it.

So today's radical revival assignment was for me to learn the gift of waiting and while I am waiting to be fully present and engaged in each moment of my living. The sun will surely rise and set each day and I will receive what God promised me but in the mean time....wait....be patient....be fully engaged....and do not miss the beauty that surrounds me in between the rising and the setting of the sun each day.

How about you? How are you doing? I would love to hear from you? Any radical revivals going on out there???

Grace to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love. Ephesians 6:24

Grace to all of you today!

Day 1

2012-01-06T06:53:00.003-05:00

Day 1.

364 to go.

Goal: Radical Revival

So I woke up this morning a bit blurry from yet another restless night of sleep. I seem to have more and more of those now that I am older. I stumbled downstairs and after my morning ritual of letting dogs out and feeding them and make that first so loved cup of coffee I sat down with my Bible.

Now what I wondered. I am not good at just flipping open my Bible to the perfect passage. Yes there have been many times that I have opened it to the very thing I needed but can I do that 365 times this year I wondered?

Without any other plan in mind I did just that. My eyes immediately fell obviously to the several passages I have underlined. Great I thought. Am I trying too hard? Am I making this whole thing way too complicated? I was so excited last night. Almost giddy at the thought of this dead heart beating again but now here I was at the point that required action and I was blank.

I love ideas and coming up with ideas but I have always struggled with follow through. Some people call that being a visionary. I don't know I always viewed myself as not having the perseverance it takes to complete hard tasks(lack of faith maybe). Who knows? Either way I am determined to do this thing. I have to do this thing. I need to know it works.

So after scanning several passages I landed on Hebrews 11:6.

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

And I pondered that. I mean I have faith....right? I believe in God. I speak about His work in my life. Then I started wondering do I really have a strong faith? Or am I the first to run back and tell everyone "the enemies too big"? And then I read the notes at the bottom of my study Bible for that passage and it lead me to Jeremiah 29:12 but I also read on to verse 13.

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

And there my friends was the treasure!!!! My "when you" for today. When you seek me with all your heart.....

That was it. I haven't been seeking with "all my heart". I mean He has pulled me out of many a pit in my life. Many. But maybe I was seeking with "half my heart". Just enough to feel some freedom. Just enough to get free and then back to "me" and "my" ways. But ALL of my heart.....I don't think so. No just enough so that I feel some level of comfort again.

And so that is my first assignment on this journey. My faith is an issue. Without it I will never make the next 364. This is going to be hard. I knew that going into this but the promise is "when I seek with ALL my heart" I am going to find Him.

Grace to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love. ~Ephesians 6:24

Grace to all!

Radically Being Revived

2012-01-05T17:57:00.006-05:00

So I told you that I realized that 2011 was way too much about me...right? Well what do we do when we come to that realization? One of two things....make a plan for change or acknowledge the issue but do nothing to change it(no action). Sad to say I so often do the latter.

The last few days have been different though. I have felt more stirrings and longings for change than I have felt in a long time. It is like I am being resurrected. Dead inside but suddenly life being breathed back into me.

It has come to me from many angles. Reading Ann Voscamps 1,000 Gifts(I highly recommend it), listening to the Passion 2012 conference, visiting a friend with leukemia, sleepless nights, playing the worship music so loud I can't help but lift my hands, praying radical prayers, and most of all the desperation of a soul that was gasping for air.

SO what am I going to do about it?

I have an idea....a few actually.

I want 2012 to be a year of radical revival. Did you ever watch the movie Julie and Julia? She blogs about making something like 526 recipes of Julia Childs in 365 days. Well I am going to do Julie and Jesus only my name isn't Julie and it won't involve one stitch of cooking(at least I hope it doesn't).

I am going to read the Bible and do what it says.

I know what your thinking.....duh isn't that what Christians do??? But I ask you do we? Do we really? Does the sun never go down on our wrath? Do we never get angry and sin? Are we never discontent? I could go on but you get the point.

I know there will be times I mess up. I am human....but to the best of my ability I am going to ask God to lead me to a passage each day and I am going to just do what it says(minus any sacrificing of sheep and such in my backyard). But seriously I am going to live 2012 radically.

I am going to take the "dos" and the "don'ts" and the "when you's" and to the best of my abilities live it out. No overspiritualizing (as well put by Francis Chan....I won't be having a banquet with the poor in my heart) Just living it no matter what it is that He asks me to do that day. I am tired of living for myself. I want to hear and obey every prompting of the Holy Spirit no matter how wild and crazy it may be.

I am in need of some serious healing and I believe this is how God will choose to bring it about.

I will have a radical revival this year.

I am claiming it in the powerful name of Jesus Christ.

So feel free to check in on the blog and keep me accountable. 365 days.....undetermined amount of assignments requiring me to daily take up my cross and follow Him. I am putting on my God-goggles and I am going to move. No more stagnant pools that I swim in but I'm going to be wading in the Living Water!

Grace to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love. ~Ephesians 6:24

Losing in 2012

2012-01-03T17:15:00.004-05:00

The discouraged encourager.

The unmotivated motivator.

The restless peace giver.

Just a few words to describe me in 2011.

As I sit here evaluating the previous year and asking myself where things went wrong I can come up with only one answer.

Me.

I spent the last year swimming in the stagnant pool of my selfish desires and came out of it covered in muck.

I bought what I wanted. I indulged in things that I wanted. I wrote my book. Yes it was to inspire others but it was my idea. I complained when I was uncomfortable and when I had to put something I wanted aside to help others.

Everything was about me and I still wasn't happy. Of course I wasn't. It was never really supposed to be about me was it? It is that backwards theology Christ talked about all the time.

So as I glance back at the previous year and I dream forward into 2012 I am praying to be emptied of myself. I want to take up my cross and lose myself in order to find myself.

...and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. ~Matthew 10:38-39

There will be plenty of opportunities. Not only in the mundane everydayness of life but also in a trip to Haiti and another to Louisiana State Pen. I don't want to swim in that stagnant water of me anymore. I want to be emptied this year for others.

What about you? What are you learning from glancing back at 2011 and from dreaming forward to 2012? I would love to hear from you!

Be blessed!

Where have I been...

2011-12-20T11:43:00.003-05:00

Where have I been you might ask???(ok Ann this is for you because I think your the only one asking:)

Well let me just make a list for you:

Baking Christmas cookies....and eating them too!
Shopping....mostly for Christmas presents but got a few things for me(is that allowed?)
Gathering with friends and family....I went ice skating for the first time in years
Not doing school:(
Attending way too many meetings
Listening to Christmas music and admiring many cool lights
Breaking up quarrels and wrestling matches and begging my kids to clean their room before we integrate more "stuff" into them
Dreaming about all the possibilities of 2012
Playing "secret santa"
Training for Frozen Foot races but not sure I will actually run them in the cold
Did I mention all the cookies I have been eating???

Anyway, that is just a little bit of what has been going on around here but I have also been working on the book and getting that ready to "launch". You can check it out at www.beautyandthebeastwithin.com ! I would love for you to hop over to that site also....I am super excited about it.

Have a blessed day!

The Dance

2011-11-16T20:38:00.002-05:00

My daughter Cayla will be 17 tomorrow.

I am feeling a bit emotional.

This parenting thing has been a lot like a dance for me.

I remember pulling on my brand new dancing shoes.

In the beginning they were tight and stiff and a bit uncomfortable.

I needed to adjust.

Then I fell into the rhythm and much of the time it felt like we were doing a waltz. Slow and steady. Graceful. We were keeping to the beat of the music but before I knew it we were doing something more like a tango....only I still wanted to waltz. It went too fast. All the firsts and the lasts. They came and went so fast I could barely keep up.

We stepped on each others toes sometimes. I lost my step occasionally and sometimes just sometimes I stumbled.

And now the last song is starting to play.

Our last dance.

I will dance many last dances this year. Probably my last holiday season with my son before he moves out. I can't remember the last time I picked up my 11 year old....I know it was this year but she has grown up a lot this year and I am sure we danced that last dance already. No more diapers or potty training or first steps in this house.

Those dances are all finished.

And one day soon the music will fade completely and I will hang up my weathered and worn dancing shoes for good.

I will miss the waltz and the tango and everything between and even though we were no Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire this was a good dance.

Happy birthday sweet Cayla....you have been one of the best dance partners a mom could ask for!

Beauty Update!

2011-11-15T09:02:00.003-05:00

Just to update you on the book....It will be released soon and now the anxiety begins:( I think I like the actual writing process(along with editing) and the making of the video and all the behind the scenes stuff far more than I like the idea of the project being completed and released.

Isn't life like that? We strive and we strive to achieve something and then when we reach the place we thought we wanted so desperately to be it ends up disappointing us or somehow leaving us empty. At least in the striving we don't have to face that reality we can continue to tell ourselves that we are almost there and success is almost ours.

The same thing Satan used to deceive Eve in the garden. He taunts us with the one thing we think we need that we can't seem to grasp and that my friends ends up being our downfall. And we question God's goodness.

I know that God called me to write. I tell myself that I only measure success based on the pleasure I feel when I do the thing He has called me to do and I ONLY write for an audience of One but when I am all alone in the dark of night and my thoughts haunt me I have to face the fact that deep down in the depths of my soul I measure success based on the definition the world has deceived me with. I tell myself if the book fails I am a failure and if I am really, really honest if I fail I question God's goodness.

So I wrestle with these thoughts and these feelings and I pray for peace and joy no matter what happens with the book. I remind myself of what is really important and what is eternal.

I grasp for Him instead of grasping at the thing that I think might make me a success and I know He is faithful and for this I am ever so grateful!

Have a blessed day!

Thought Provoking

2011-11-10T10:38:00.000-05:00

God appoints people who disappoint so they can point to the God who NEVER disappoints!

~Ann Voskamp

Buck Denver Asks...Why Do We Call It Christmas?

2011-11-08T10:16:00.001-05:00

Buck Denver Asks...Why Do We Call It Christmas?

Cutting down trees? Hanging stockings? Santa Claus? What do any of these have to do with Jesus' birthday? More than you'd think!

Join VeggieTales creator Phil Vischer along with intrepid newsman Buck Denver and all his friends on an amazing journey into the world's most popular holiday! Sure, you know the Christmas story. But do you know the story of Christmas?

Don't miss the whimsical, educational, Christmical party to end all Christmas parties as Buck Denver Asks … Why Do We Call It Christmas?

Run Time: approx. 60 minutes

Don't forget to order your copy today! Just click on the banner on the right of your screen!

Have a blessed day!

The Get an Attitude of Gratitude Challenge!

2011-11-07T10:21:00.000-05:00

It's Monday morning and it is time to check our praise meter and see how we are doing with our attitude of gratitude.

For me so many times it is all about changing my perspective. I need to often remind myself that the things that bother me the most are some of my greatest blessings if I would only choose to see them that way!

Sometimes in the nitty gritty of mothering life we need to put on our God goggles. Sometimes we just need to remind our self that today, nearly one billion people – about one in eight – lack access to clean water. More than twice that many, 2.5 billion people, don’t have access to a toilet.

According to the US Department of Housing and Urban Development, there were 643,067 sheltered and unsheltered homeless persons nationwide as of January 2009.

925 million hungry people in 2010.

If you have food in your fridge, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of the world.

If you have money in the bank, your wallet, and some spare change you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy.

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness you are more blessed than the million people who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the agony of imprisonment or torture, or the horrible pangs of starvation you are luckier than 500 million people alive and suffering.

If you can read God’s precious Word and you have at least one copy in your home in your language than you are more fortunate than 3 billion people in the world who cannot read it at all and the nearly one-third of the world's language groups representing 340 million people are still waiting for God’s Word in a language that they can understand clearly.

When you read that it changes things doesn't it?

Today on my "thankful list" I am thankful for my bathroom. More specifically my toilet. You see I am forever complaining about the mess in my bathroom. Some little one at my house seems to have bad aim. It is so silly to even type it but it makes me grumpy every time I go in there but today I am putting on my "God goggles" and I am going to go in and give my toilet a flush and just be thankful I have a toilet for my little guys to miss:)

How about you? What are you thankful for today?

Be blessed!

The Perfect Christmas Gift

2011-11-06T10:04:00.002-05:00

Can you believe it's November already???? Where does the time go? Anyway, it is time to start thinking about Christmas shopping. I know when it comes to getting gifts for my kids I always struggle to find things that are meaningful and useful and don't take up too much space:)

Well this year I have found the perfect gift!

Buck Denver Asks...What's in the Bible?

Join us in a fast-paced, fun-filled, laugh-out-loud journey thru the Bible with VeggieTales® creator, Phil Vischer.

"After creating VeggieTales®, I knew it was time to take kids deeper into the Bible. To help them laugh and learn their way thru the BIG story of God's love for them. Join me on the journey thru the WHOLE Bible — with Buck Denver asks…What's In the Bible?" - Phil Vischer

I got the first DVD at the Relevant Conference and watched it right away with my kiddos and we loved it. Click on the banner on the right of the screen to get your set of 6 DVD's for only $37.95. You can not beat that amazing price. Buy a set for your kids and for your nieces and nephews. I am also getting a set for my grandson!

Check out this review at Movieguide.org!

I know they will bless your family!

Have a blessed day!

An Award!

2011-11-06T08:00:00.001-05:00

Thank you so much Becky at Bargains by the Bagfull for this award!

Get an Attitude of Gratitude Challenge

2011-11-05T08:30:00.002-04:00

I had the privilege of speaking yesterday at Growing as Moms at Mt. Calvary. The topic was thankfulness. They are reading through Lysa TerKeurst book "Am I Messing Up My Kids". She talks about being thankful even for the smelly shoes laying around her house.

As I was preparing my message of course God started speaking directly to my own heart. I think that is the main reason He called me into a speaking ministry. He knew I still had so many lessons to learn.

I talked about gratitude being an attitude we choose. It does not come naturally to us. Gratitude and thanksgiving are a sacrifice we bring to God.

As a Christian I talk a lot about being grateful all the time but am I really? Does my talk match my walk? Can I allow the truth I have in my mind penetrate my heart and most importantly can I really walk out what I believe on the pavement of life?

A life that is messy? A life that is full of trials and pain? A life that most days seems mundane and unimportant?

The place that Satan loves to get me is at the crossroads of my expectations colliding with my reality. It is at that place that I have a choice to make. It is the rubber meeting the road. Will I be thankful and choose to praise Him anyway or will I become bitter?

This month I decided to challenge myself to get an attitude of gratitude no matter what the circumstance in my life. I am challenging myself to put on my God goggles and see things that typically cause me to grumble and complain in a different light. I want to learn to be thankful for those things. I am also memorizing Psalm 100 with my family.

Psalm 100

A psalm. For giving grateful praise.

1 Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.
2 Worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.
3 Know that the LORD is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his[a];
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.
5 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Won't you join me??? Today I am starting to memorize this passage. It helps me to read it several times and then write and then meditate on it concentrating on key words.

Also the first thing on my "thankful list" is for the heat pouring out of the old radiators in this very old house this morning. You see I usually complain about the radiators because they take up way too much space in a room and it is hard to arrange furniture but I am asking God to help me see things differently and to be thankful for the warmth.

I will be checking in throughout the month and let you know how I am doing. If you want to join me let me a comment so I can pray for you and we can encourage one another. Let me know what you are thankful for today!

Be blessed!

Relevant 11!!!!

2011-10-31T08:45:00.005-04:00

Well its Monday morning and I can not believe Relevant 11 has come and gone. It was amazing and I am not sure how to sum it all up. You see when God speaks to you it can not always be summed up into a neat little blog post. Sometimes you wrestle with Him and it gets messy. Not that He is messy but that I am messy. I had many different emotions all weekend long from the joy of meeting new friends to the heaviness of hearing about the causes like One Verse and Compassion.

So I thought I would just list a few of the highlights but I am sure in the coming weeks there will be more for me to share!

*Lunch at Chili's on Thursday and just getting to know a bunch of ladies I never met before

*Registering for the conference and getting the coolest "goodie bag" filled to overflowing with some really cool stuff(look for giveaways in the near future)

*Friday morning breakfast listening to Sally Clarkson. It was everything I needed to hear and more and then I actually got to sit and talk to her on a couch in the lounge and she is a gem!

*Learning all the ins and outs of blogging and e-books in all the breakout sessions. So much info it will take me weeks to process and implement it all

*Going to many of the wonderful meet-ups(homeschooling, eat pray lose, What's in the Bible, etc...) and meeting some more awesome people and getting some more really cool stuff

*Listening to Christie Wells....her music is so beautiful!!!!

*Ann Voskamps closing message

*The way that God brought me and Maggie Hogan together in the hallway and how she graciously took me into her room and listened to me and prayed with me

*Spending time with my sweet friend Bonni Greiner

I could go on and on but you get the idea. It was an awesome weekend! I can't wait to start implementing some changes on my blog and sharing more with you soon but it is time to take off my blogger hat and put on my homeschooling mom hat for the day!

Have a blessed day!

Need to make a "to do" list?

2011-10-20T17:58:00.005-04:00

Life has been moving along here at the speed of light. I have a lot swirling around that empty space under all this bleach blond hair. Every once in a while I start to feel overwhelmed and I know I need to grab a piece of paper and start writing. There is something freeing about the pen hitting the paper and I am able to leave all that has been swirling in my mind there. I am not always a list maker but sometimes it is necessary. It makes things more manageable and I can relax and just do the next thing.

Whenever make my list, I know I then need to come up with a reasonable plan. When I need a reasonable plan to accomplish anything I have a system that came about because I am a procrastinator (have been as long as I can remember). I was the one who crammed for tests and waited until the night before a paper was due to write it. This has its advantages and disadvantages. I used to look at it only in a negative light but I realized having the ability to put some things aside and just enjoy life has its advantages.

Unfortunately if I put too much off and don’t have a plan nothing gets accomplished. So this is what I learned to do:

1. Pray

2. Prioritize

3. Plan

4. Put it into action

I want God to order my "to do" list. I don't want the list to control me but be a guide. If God brings some unexpected thing my way today that is ok too. His word is clear.....

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. ~Proverbs 16:3

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. ~Proverbs 16:9

This has helped me tremendously when it comes to planning my homeschooling day/week/year. Or when I have a big project or speaking engagement to prepare for. I will even use this as I prepare to go to the Relevant 11 conference next week.

So tonight I am doing some praying, prioritizing, and planning. When I seek God He shows me how to "put it all into action" and I can rest knowing that He is in control!

Have a blessed night.

BTW....want to read something interesting about lists??? Check out this article. I first read about the "six list" in Sarah Mae's book "31 Days to Clean". I thought it was fascinating because I have long practiced this(only mine is often the "25" list:)

Busy. Busy, Busy....

2011-10-19T08:10:00.003-04:00

I didn't go anywhere....I am here. I am at a conference this week. I will be back tonight or tomorrow and I will write more then:)

Hope you are all having a blessed week!

Almost finished....

2011-10-11T19:09:00.002-04:00

You know how I said I would be writing over the next couple weeks and I would keep you up on the progress....well I sent it off to the editor tonight!

Can you believe it? Once I started writing I couldn't stop. Right now I am shaking as I type this. It has been such a thrill.

Please join me in praying over the next couple weeks. I am in the process of having a cover made and making a promo video to introduce it.

I can't wait for you all to see it!

God is so good!

Be blessed!

Beauty and the Beast Within

2011-10-10T11:49:00.002-04:00

Yes I do believe that is the title I am leaning towards for my new e-book....

Beauty and the Beast Within....21 days to uncovering the truth about weight loss, beauty, and taming the beast within.

Let me know your thoughts:)

YAHOO!!! God is Good!

2011-10-06T10:14:00.002-04:00

Oh Yes! You saw that right.... I am going to Relevant 11 and could not be more excited! I have been praying for a ticket and this week God was very gracious and provided one for me!

Praise the LORD. Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.
~ Psalm 106:1

He is good and all good things come from Him. I could just think that I got lucky getting this ticket but I know better. He heard my prayer. He has a plan and He blessed me!

Never think that something is too silly to prayer for. He wants to fulfill the desires of our heart. He already knows what we want so why not go ahead and ask Him for it. If He says no it is because He has a greater yes. If He says yes don't forget to thank Him!

Have a blessed day!

I WANT to win a Relevant 11 Ticket!

2011-10-04T15:21:00.002-04:00

Really cool bloggers to meet

Excellant speakers for my ears to hear

Lots of cool new things to learn

Exactly what I could use right now

Very much a dream of mine

Amazing gifts to be shared

Never been before

Told the whole world I want to go and my family hopes I win so they don't need to keep hearing about it

1 of the greastest blogging conferences EVER!!! from what I hear I have never been :(

1 thing that I know will help me fulfill my dreams!

Just a few of the reasons I want to win the ticket to the Relevant 11 Conference! Wish me luck!

Have a blessed day!

The Synopsis

2011-09-30T07:07:00.002-04:00

I just love using big words! I know you have all been waiting with bated breath to read this.....yeah right. But humor me because I am excited and here is what I have been working on.....

The first diet and exercise book that has very little with diet and exercise. It is a book about finding peace with our bodies and discovering our beautiful. If at the end we are thinner then great but that is not the only goal. The goal is to be healthy, happy women deseprately in love with Jesus. We will learn some good tips along the way but most importantly we will discover the beauty that lies within each of us.

We will make peace with our not so hour glass figure and we will finally realize that being thin does not necessarily equal happiness. I have been a size 2 and I have been a size 12 and everything in between. And to be honest I have been miserable at a size 2 and I have been miserable at a size 12. I have been fed so many lies about what beautiful is and I spent years trying to achieve unnattainable goals. To be honest I don't know if I am too old or what but I am done with it! And you can be too!

In the next few days I will be sharing more about the book and also asking for input. I am deciding on a title and will share more about that later also. I asked on my Facebook how people would define beautiful and I got many interesting responses. I would love to hear your response to that same question.

Going to Baltimore this weekend to see Beth Moore so I will be back on her on Sunday or Monday.

Have a blessed weekend!

It's 9:00 and....

2011-09-29T09:16:00.004-04:00

I am embarrassed to admit my kids are all still in bed. Shouldn't I be homeschooling and baking bread or something???

Instead I am sitting at my computer daydreaming. It is what I do best. I remember having the most vivid imagination as a child. At least that's how I am remembering it which considering I can't remember to wake my children up and homeschool I could be a little off but anyway.....I am going with the vivid imagination memory today so just humor me.

I loved to write when I was little and make up stories. I remember writing my first "book" and illustrating it using my neatest handwriting. The entire thing rhymed and I remember until it was over being exhausted trying to find words that rhymed with Bob.

When it was complete I made a cover for it and read it to my family. I don't recall too many times that my dad took an interest in what I was doing but this book he loved. He told me it was very good and he was proud of me.

I have since searched through my things at my parents and I can't find my first literary masterpiece but it has been a dream of mine to write another book(rest assured there will be no characters by the name of Bob). I know I have shared briefly here about this before but just like many other dreams and aspirations it gets pushed aside just waiting for the right moment that I have just the right words.

I started thinking about dreams today and wondered what really stops us from living them out? Am I afraid to write because of fear of rejection or because I might not really have anything more to offer other than a short story about Bob and his friend Rob? I don't know but I am tired of talking about making choices but not really making any. Doing nothing towards a goal is choosing to never live up to our full potential and trust God for the rest.

So with that said I am choosing today to write my first e-book. There I said it. I have much of it written I just need to spend a little (a lot) of time reorganizing it. I would love to involve you all in the process (ok I need to know is anybody out there....stats say there are but I don't see any comments:)

I will share my struggles over the next few weeks. I will ask questions and hope to get some answers. I will share a synopsis tomorrow(Oh yes I did just go to dictionary.com to be sure that was the right word....what in the world am I thinking writing a book. I really don't know much more than when to color my roots or how to rhyme Rob and Bob).

So stay tuned....I know you are all probably on the edge of your seat....NOT! But I am excited. Dreams are good. Goals are healthy. It is time we start walking this thing out instead of waiting for the perfect moment. There are not perfect moments in this world....just imperfect people serving a perfect God.

On a totally unrelated note I am desperately trying to get to the Relevant 11 conference so if anyone knows of any tickets out there PLEASE let me know and if you would join me in praying that if God is willing He will make a way for me to go. Your prayers are ALWAYS appreciated:)

Have a blessed day!

Wavering....

2011-09-22T18:42:00.002-04:00

Tossed.

Back and forth.

Like a wave in the sea.

This is my life....

I waver between continuing to homeschool my children feeling passionate about what that means to me and putting them in school. Maybe they would be smarter. Maybe they are missing out.

I waver between doing what is right feeling passionate about Jesus Christ and wanting to just be a "carnal" christian doing what I want when I want but keeping my ticket to heaven. Maybe the grass is greener somewhere else. Maybe I would be happier if I could just do what I want to do because maybe for girls like me that's all there is.

I waver between contentment and dissatisfaction. Maybe I should have a nicer house. Maybe I should have more money.

I waver between wanting an education that leads to a fulfilling career and staying here where I know I belong and cleaning up another mess. Maybe I am smarter than all of this. Maybe I would then feel full.

I could sit here all night sharing all the different scenarios. It is endless. I have tossed back and forth for more years than I am willing to share at this point. Today as I felt pulled in different directions and I once again felt torn between one direction and another(picture devil on one shoulder and angel on the other) I kept going back to the truth.

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. ~Isaiah 26:3

I blasted the worship music. I prayed. I went for a walk alone(not even a cell phone).

As I sit here I want to type that all is ok now and that if you follow those steps you too will be just fine.

I would be lying.

I am still listening to the worship music.

I am still praying begging God to bring me that "perfect" peace that I still do not feel.

Yet I know that my feelings always lead me the wrong direction and that they will change..... eventually and just as sure as the changing tide of the ocean I will feel stronger. Just not right this moment but I know He is faithful. I know that deliverance isn't always immediate but it does come. I know that desperation though a very scary place can be a very sweet place where I feel Him the most.

Maybe you know where I am today. Do what I did. Write down what you know and even though your feelings don't change immediately cling only to that truth.

Be blessed.

Learning to slow down......

2011-09-21T15:36:00.005-04:00

As I mentioned earlier I started studying 1 John this week with Good Morning Girls. We have been taking just one verse a day and using the S.O.A.P. method of Bible study:

Write the Scripture
Write 1 or 2 Observations
Write 1 or 2 Applications
Pray

I must say I have been loving it. It is teaching this girl who is usually moving faster than the spin cycle on the washing machine to SLOW down. I am pouring over just one verse a day but that one verse can teach me and fill me and change me. It has been awesome.

The first three verses I have studied this week so far talked about how John wants to proclaim what he has seen, heard, and touched....the Word of Life(Jesus). He is proclaiming it so that others too can fellowship with in in this truth.

I felt convicted to also proclaim what I have seen and heard and touched regarding the Word of Life. It is so easy to get busy and forget that there is a lost and desperate world that needs to hear the message and be brought into fellowship with me and other believers.

It has been my prayer that God would not only open my eyes to all the ways He is speaking to me this week but that I would look around me for those who need to hear my testimony. Just because Christ never stood physically in front of us does NOT mean we don't have ways to testify about what we have seen, heard, and touched.

I was also thankful that right here is testimony of someone who did physically see Christ. We don't need to ever doubt or question.

His Word is so rich. Why don't you open your Bible right now and drink in the richness of just one verse. Slow down. Breathe it in. Bask in its beauty. Be changed.

Have a blessed day!

Good Morning Girls Bible Study.....day 1

2011-09-19T08:09:00.003-04:00

I started a new Bible study with Good Morning Girls on 1 John. I am so excited. It was a beautiful morning to just sit and soak in His word.

That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched--this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. ~ 1 John 1:1

I pray that we would all hear Him, see Him, and touch Him today because He is the Word of life. Nothing else will ever fill us or satisfy our every longing. NOTHING! No matter what circumstance we find ourselves in He is there to be heard, seen, and touched. We are never alone. He always was and He always will be. Hallelujah!

Have a blessed day.

What difference does it make?

2011-09-14T21:10:00.003-04:00

As the well worn Bible lay in my lap a tear fell and splashed the page. Once again His Word had leapt off the page and into my heart penetrating right down to the marrow of my bones. The pain I was feeling started to dissipate and the flood of peace washed over me like cool breeze in the heat of summer. It never fails.

A verse....

Just one verse.....

Thats all it takes to completely transform me.

It fills my deepest needs, heals my deepest hurts , and pervades the hole of despair that threatens to swalllow me up. My life is forever changed.

There was a time my Bible sat upon my shelf collecting dust. Those were the darkest and lonliest times of my life.

I'm sure there are many people who have a Bible sitting on their shelf wondering what difference it would make if they picked it up and opened it.

Well I know the difference.

It is the difference between hope and despair.

It is the difference between wholeness and brokeness.

It is the difference between peace and distress.

It is the difference between clarity and confusion.

Most importantly it is the difference between life and death.

Sadly today, nearly one-third of the world's language groups representing 340 million people are still waiting for God’s Word in a language that they can understand clearly.

They don't even have the opportunity to know the difference it would make in their life.

They are in poverty.

Bible poverty.

We can help change this. We can help bring light to those living in darkeness. We can partner with One Verse.

OneVerse is a program of The Seed Company that enables you to support local Bible translators as they make God’s message available in the language of their people.

Won't you please watch the following video and pray and see how you can help.

Your sponsorship gift of $26 provides the resources required for national translators to translate one verse of Scripture into their own language.

Just $26....that's giving up a few cups of Starbucks to give the life giving and life affirming Word of God.

A verse.....

Just one verse......

Can open the gates of heaven!

Homeschool Mom....You can do it!!!!

2011-09-12T22:35:00.003-04:00

I answered a question on Angie Smith's blog Bring the Rain. After I posted it I thought I would share it with you all. You can read her question here.

Much of what I share in my reply I got from years of encouragement given to me by my dear friend Bonni Greiner.

Here is my reply:

I feel like there are many times over the last 12 years of homeschooling that I could have written your exact post.....so rest assured your questions are normal, what you feel is normal, and I promise your kids will turn out:)

With that said, I have prayed each year and each year looked very different. There were years that I had 2 middle school girls that we just adopted and then there were the years that I had 3 babies in 4 years while schooling the older 4 children. I have graduated 3 of them. They survived. I survived. We have used "box" curriculum, unit studies, cyber school and co-ops. Every year was different. Every child was different. This year I have a junior in high school, a 6th grader, a 4th grader, and a 2nd grader.

I felt God calling me this year to really focus on serving and so our curriculum looks very different. I use BJU math and Houghton Mifflin Reading for the younger 2. I use calvert math and a character based literature program for my 6th grader. I am using the coolest history from Homeschool in the Woods called Time Travelers History. We are reading and drawing the book of Proverbs this year. We are looking for opportunities to serve and doing a ton of reading about those less fortunate than us. This is the year I want their world to expand beyond our front door. I want their hearts to start opening up to the things that break God's heart.

It is ok to experiment and find out what works for your family. It is ok to use part of a curriculum and to supplement. It is ok to trash a curriculum a month after you start it. If it doesn't work the first month what makes us think it will work the rest of the year???? We need to get beyond the idea that we bought so we have to use it all and just use what works. We need to discern what is working and move on if its not.

We feel A LOT of pressure to "keep up" with everyone around us. Satan loves to taunt us by having us focus on others success and our own failures. One thing that has helped me tremendously has been to make a list of what I want my child to learn and when I am tempted to feel panic I go back to that list. It looks something like this:

1. Love God
2. Serve Him
3. Love others
4. Serve them
5. Know His Word
6. Be able to balance checkbook, handle money, and not go into debt
7. Know basic life skills....cooking, cleaning, etc.''

This isn't the whole list but you get the idea. Very little to do with actual curriculum. Beth Moore just said in her simulcast this weekend "If you have a heart to do God's will He is not going to hide it from you". He won't hide it from our kids. He gifted them and has specific work for them. The best thing we can do is remind them of this daily and pray the heavens down over them.

I am not saying that academics is not important. It is. Especially if it has something to do with what God calls them to. I have just learned over the years of having self doubt and bawling my eyes out regularly that I am just not big enough to mess God up:)

Wow.....that was a long comment. Probably more than you bargained for:) I hope I helped and didn't confuse the topic even more for you! Hang on because it is a wild ride but it is a fast ride. You might not feel that way most days but the next thing you know you wake up and that child is grown. Be blessed. I will pray for you:)

Sometimes we just need to encourage someone else to be reminded ourselves....funny how that works.

Have a blessed night!

31 Days to Clean!!!

2011-09-09T14:54:00.004-04:00

I just signed up! Got my e-book!

I'm excited to get started and if you would see my house you would know why:)

Have a blessed day!

20 year anniversary today!

2011-09-07T15:42:00.003-04:00

So today my hubby and I have actually made it to the 20 year point....I say actually made it because it has not been easy(mostly due to the fact that I am not easy to live with:)

I thought I would make a list of 20 things about my hubby:

1. You are handsome.....nobody believes that I am actually 7 years YOUNGER

2. You are sweet

3. You are the best "gift buyer" I know

4. You are creative and should have been a photographer

5. You are the best breakfast maker

6. You are a great dad

7. You are a great friend

8. You are a great coach

9. You are committed 100% to anything you do

10. You are smart....nobody could beat you at "one hit wonders"

11. You are friendly....You are my extrovert who married this introvert

12. You are strong

13. You are wise

14. You are helpful

15. You have a heart for God

16. You are the coupon King and could "out save" any woman I know

17. You are loving

18. You are the best snuggler

19. You are a gift from God

20. You are a man of your word.....20 years ago you promised to love me in sickness and health and in poorness and wealth and never once have you gone back on that promise.

I love you!

I hope this post finds you all happily married but if not if you are struggling never forget God is a God of miracles. I know this for a fact. It is a miracle that I celebrate the milestone that I celebrate today. Just keep praying and pressing hard into God. He is the one and only one that can redeem marriages and turn them into something beautiful.

Have a blessed day!

Time Keeps Ticking Away....

2011-09-06T15:31:00.003-04:00

Doctor: You don't have skin cancer. Mrs. Grove you just have age spots and sun spots caused by age and too many years in the sun.

Me: What? Me? Didn't I just graduate from high school and get married??? Didn't I just stand here in this very same office surrounded by little ones? I am not old enough for "age" spots.

And this is the conversation that I had with the doctor.

When did I start aging? When did that baby boy of mine grow up graduate, and start working towards a career as a chef? Don't I still sit at every one of his hockey games with baited breath as he nears the goal and don't I still stand up ready to run out onto the rink when he gets hit by a puck and goes down?

And what about my other "little" ones?

Wait, I don't have little ones anymore. Everyone is fully potty trained, fully capable of dressing, feeding, and bathing themselves.

And so it goes. Time keeps marching on. I can't stop it. I can't go back. And obviously by the gray hair in my head and the lovely "age" spots on my face I can't even hide it very well.

I know just like anything else I have a choice.

I can embrace it or I can fight it. I can live with purpose today or just think about starting tomorrow. Either way the clock ticks.

No matter what I do time isn't going to stop and wait for me to choose. I guess that's where I am today. On the eve of my 20th....yes you read that right...20th wedding anniversary I am contemplating life. My purpose. I am evaluating how I have been doing lately and I am planning for a better tomorrow.

Won't you join me. Let's be women who live each minute with purpose.

Intentional living.

You see it is so easy to get caught in the trap of waiting until tomorrow. But when we do that we waste today. And not only that my today will profoundly effect my tomorrow. Even if I do nothing it effects tomorrow because tomorrow will just turn into another today lived out without purpose.

I have lived the last year like this. Sorta in denial. Sorta just wondering through life. Satan loved it, God grieved over it, and I am sick to death of it. I am setting some goals, getting some accountability, taking some risks, and learning to live again.

If you are struggling right now don't be afraid because desperation has been the sweetest gift for me. Let me know where you are and if you need prayer. It would be an honor to hear from you and do this journey together.

Have a blessed day!

Love This Song....

2011-08-31T08:04:00.001-04:00

The start of school....

2011-08-30T07:44:00.002-04:00

As other mothers rejoice at the beginning of each new school year I am sitting here sadly saying goodbye to summer. It was time to get back into a routine here at our house and it was time to pull out the books and start working yesterday.

I would love to tell you some sweet story about my children all sitting on the couch as I read to them and how they anxiously grabbed their pencils to start their assignments but instead they poked each other, fought, and forgot all together how to even hold the pencil.

Some things we are called to do are difficult. Homeschooling has been that for me. I fight against it some days as much as they do. I want to quit. I want to give up. I want to jump up and down at the sight of the big yellow bus instead of curling up in a ball in fetal position. But that is not what I have been called to do.

Maybe someone reading this is feeling the same way. I hope not. I actually hope all you homeschooling mama's have it easy(ok I know it is never easy but at least I hope you are not curled up in a ball in fetal position somewhere). But if by chance you are feeling a little down about starting school I want to encourage you to persevere. Cling to God and His promises. If He called you like I feel like He has called me then He will give you (and me) everything we need this school year.

I am going to go get the books out for the day. I am praying that each day the transition back into to school becomes a bit easier but if not I will just cling to Him like crazy and know that I need to just hang on.....

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. ~Hebrews 10:35-36

Have a blessed day!

Where I have been....

2011-07-29T15:32:00.002-04:00

Where I've been???? Good question:) I have been extremely busy and can't believe it is almost August. The summer started late. I finished school much later than usual and then I had relatives visiting on two separate weeks to finish out June. July was busy spending the 4th with my parents and then I went back to Louisiana State Pen (Angola) for a missions trip. After getting home from another unbelievable and life changing trip I decided it was time to simplify some things around here. That started with much need decluttering(about 15 trash bags worth). The rest of my days are spent herding my children and going to the pool:)

I haven't been on here and I feel so guilty to have never finished the last two chapters of the book(I read them just didn't take the time to discuss them) I think it was that guilt that was holding me back from posting:) So another resolution of mine is to get on here when I have something to say but not to commit to such a lengthy project again. Not that I won't discuss books because I have read a ton this summer. My favorites so far have been Heaven is for Real and Dead Man Walking. Has anyone read either????

I have been doing a new Beth Moore study. It is revised version of David and it has been awesome. I finally feel myself coming out of the fog I have been in over the last year. It has been a dry place and a scary place but God has been good and He has been faithful.

I guess before I know it I will be starting school again. Another big decision was to pull my kids from cyber school and go back to good old fashioned homeschooling. I am actually looking forward to it but check with me midSeptember and I am sure the enthusiasm will be gone.

Well there you have it....whoever you is. Not sure if anyone's there but I am not going to worry about it I am just going to keep plugging away. By the way I am going to update my speaking calendar today!

Have a blessed day!

Sitting at Starbucks

2011-06-08T17:36:00.002-04:00

I know it is Wednesday and I know I haven't posted in a month. I also know I never finished the last two chapters of the book. I guess it was an epic fail as my kids would say. I'm not sure why I stopped. I have all kinds of excuses but as I sit here all alone they all seem pretty lame.

The last year has taken me on a journey that I never want to repeat. When I struggled before with different things and different relationships it was hard but I could make it through. This struggle has been within myself and I have wrestled it for over a year and I am sure I will never be the same. It has also been the most difficult thing to explain. Maybe it is midlife. Maybe it is a painful growth spurt. I can't say yet for sure.

Anyway I am not sure that anyone even reads this anymore but I do feel like I need to get back to who I was before this struggle started and so I do need to post on here because writing was always very healing for me.

I started the new David Bible study yesterday and I am super excited about that and I also want to share my last few thoughts on the book as soon as a get a chance. And maybe if I can ever find the words to share more about what I have been going through I will share that too.

Well my time here is up but I hope to be back soon.

Be blessed!

What I''m Reading Wednesday

2011-04-27T10:16:00.003-04:00

Sorry I never got back on here last week. Update on my friend: She had surgery and is in rehab. She might be coming home the end of this week but it will be a long recovery(18 months)so keep praying.

Now to our reading. I will be discussing chapters 16 and 17 today and in two weeks will finish the book with chapters 18 and 19. I will be out of town with my hubby next week.

Chapter 16 - Why Diets Don't Work

Diets don't work for me. I seem to be able to sacrifice for a season and then I get tired of sacrificing. I hit my goal weight and then slowly slip back into old habits. The weight creeps back on and I feel like a failure. Like I said, diets don't work for me. So, I'm not on a diet. I'm on a journey with Jesus to learn the fine art of self-discipline for the purpose of holiness.(page 158)

Well said and yes it is a fine art and it is a learning process. I realized reading this how much of my life I spend saying I'm on a "diet" but really I am on a journey to establish a healthy eating plan for life.

Now, hear me on this. We aren't to flee food. We need food. But we are to flee the control food can have over our lives.(Page 159)

Great point. I loved how she talked about not becoming legalistic in all of this.

Chapter 17 - The Very Next Choice We Make

Holiness means to be set apart for a noble use. The very next choice we make isn't really about whether or not to eat chips, cookies, or French fries smothered in chili and processed cheese. It's about whether we are going to stay away from those things that are not beneficial for what we are created to be.(page 169)

Life is all about our next choice and our next choice has the power to change our destiny. It can lead to permanent and amazing changes in our life. We get so caught up in the big picture but if we could just break it down into just doing the next thing and doing the right thing. Small steps will inevitably lead to huge changes.

May our prayer be that we too ask God to unsettle us. Sustained discipline is possible. Just make the next choice be the right choice.

Have a blessed day!

Prayer

2011-04-14T07:22:00.001-04:00

Sorry I missed posting yesterday. A dear friend/cousin was in a car accident on Monday night and I have been going to the hospital when I have a spare moment. Please pray for her. She is having surgery on her hip/pelvis today.

I will get back to the book next week.

Have a blessed day!

What I''m Reading Wednesday

2011-04-06T13:39:00.006-04:00

This was another great week of reading!!!! I struggled with the first chapter because I never considered myself an emotional eater. I just like food and I eat way too much of the wrong things but she had a lot of good things to say about emptiness and how we fill it. I know I fill mine with unhealthy things all the time. Shopping is unfortunately one of those things:( Not that there is anything wrong with it but when I am feeling particularly empty I do tend to go drop a bunch of cash that I shouldn't.

Emotional Emptiness - Chapter 14

Emptiness has a way of demanding to be filled. And when I couldn't figure out how to fill what my heart was lacking, my stomach was more than willing to offer a few suggestions.(page 138)

We will always have empty spaces that cry out to be filled that is the feeling given to us so that we would seek God. I pray that I will become more aware if I am eating out of emptiness. I too need to become "unsettled".

It's so easy to park our minds in bad spots. To dwell and rehash and wish things were different. But to think on hard things keeps us in hard spots and only serves to deepen our feelings of emotional emptiness.(page 141)

Ugh! Once again a mind/body connection. We will never behave differently than what we think or dwell on. I do love the story she told about her dad. I remember things being particularly difficult at home when I was young but there was a day where I was on my dad's lap and things seemed so peaceful. I remember staring at a spot on the fireplace and asking God to please allow me to always remember that feeling and that moment every time I looked at that spot on the fireplace. He has been so gracious because I was probably only about 5 but I have never forgotten that moment and it was that happy memory I need to choose to dwell on.

We must deal with our triggers. We must identify our places of emotional emptiness and admit how futile it is to try to fill those places with food.(page 143)

This is crucial. I believe there is something that triggers all sin/struggles in our life. We need to figure out what that is and learn how to handle it when it comes our way. Often time figuring this all out is painful so we avoid it and live a depressed life. It is like lancing a wound. Extremely painful at the time but in the end all you are left with is a scar and scars remind us but they don't hurt anymore.

The Demon in The Chip Poster - Chapter 15 And the power was to acknowledge that I'm not yet at a place where I can handle just a few chips. My brokenness cannot support that kind of freedom. (page 149)

Vulnerable, broken taste buds can't handle certain kinds of freedom. So, boundaries keep us safe, not restricted.(page 151)

We do need to place boundaries on ourselves for protection not to bring harm. Recognizing we are not ready for certain freedoms is crucial to our success. It is like an alcoholic who knows not to go to a bar or just have one glass of wine with dinner. Food is no different to the overweight person struggling with food. But I also love that she also said at some point we can enjoy some freedom and allow certain things back into our life in moderation. That is very balanced thinking.

Well that's what I got for this week:) If you are reading along please share your thoughts! Next week chapters 16 and 17.

Have a blessed day!

What I'm Reading Wednesday

2011-03-30T12:52:00.013-04:00

Is any one else enjoying this book as much as I am??? If your not reading it I hope you get yourself a copy. It is about so much more than just food and diets. In fact if that's what you thought and that's why your not reading it I encourage you to get the books and read it. We all have empty places and we all were made to crave and we all at one time or another filled our cravings with things that have been unhealthy.

I wish I had more time right now to get on here more often and tell you whats going on in my life. Sorry I have been reduced to just posting on Wednesday's lately. Did go shopping on Friday and maybe this Friday I can jump on and share some of my "finds" with you all.

Now onto to this weeks reading...

The Curse of the Skinny Jeans - Chapter 12

First I must say I did just love the title of this chapter:)

Like most women, I had kept this pair of skinny jeans in my closet. They had made it through many, many closet purges. All of my other jeans from a size I hadn't seen in quite a while had long since been bagged up and taken to Goodwill. But this particular pair of jeans had been spared as a symbol of a promise I'd made to myself to one day lose the weight - again.(page 119)

Ugh! I am so embarrassed to say I have a pair of red suede pants in my closet that I refuse to part with and I try on every once in a while hoping to fit into them again. And I need to ask myself why??? They are ugly and outdated and I won't ever wear them in public again.

This is the curse of the skinny jeans. My body size is not tied to my happy. If my happy was missing when I was larger, it will still be missing when I get smaller. (page 120) Tying my happy to the wrong things is partially what caused my weight gain in the first place.(page 121)

Profound. Why is it we think if we achieve a certain goal we will ultimately be happy? Why do we tie our happy to "things" whether it be a certain size or a certain position or a certain relationship? Even those of us who know better. Those of us who have been studying our Bible for years and know all the right answers still in the secret places of our soul long to fill ourselves with things that will not ultimately make us happy. I love what she went on to say at the bottom of the page about Oprah. How often do we sit on our couches feeling sorry for ourselves watching someone we think "has it all". Having it all is a big fat myth. I remember when Oprah "unveiled" her new body. I remember thinking she has everything that would make me happy. Not true but Satan loves when we buy into that lie.

We are taught to remain in God's love so that we won't tie our happy to anything but God. So that our joy will be complete. Complete. As in not lacking anything. Complete. As in filled up to the brink with joy no matter if we are wearing our skinny jeans or not. Complete. As in satisfied with a fullness we can't get any other way. Can you imagine how beautiful it would be to live as a complete person?(page123)

Beautiful it would be:) And it sounds so simple yet its not. We know what we should do and yet we fail to do it. Thank goodness His mercies are new every morning and He is abounding in love and grace for us. And besides I don't want to be an incomplete person that exhausts everyone around me in the impossible pursuit of being filled by them. I also loved what she said on page 125 about filling our afternoons His thoughts of love towards others and seeing our skinny jeans as a fun reward, nothing more.

Overindulgence - Chapter 13

Overindulgence is overindulgence. Eating in excess is a sin. The Bible calls it gluttony, which is defined in the dictionary as "excess in drinking or eating".(page 128)

Good thoughts to keep in mind instead we tend to minimize our overeating and maximize someone else's overindulgence in alcohol or other addictions to make ourselves feel better.

Overstuffing ourselves with food or drinking until we get drunk or getting wrapped up in the affections of an adulterous relationship are all desperate attempts to silence cries of a hungry soul.(page 129)

I just love the way she states information that just cuts right to the heart of the matter. We have all these issues that are always just symptoms of something deeper. A cry from a hungry soul. I love her reminder that we were created with this longing so that we would pursue God. Also if we don't fill our souls with spiritual nourishment we will always want to numb our longings with temporary physical pleasures. That sums it all up for me. The struggles I have and that I see others have all come down to self medicating to numb ourselves. You know the things that catch us up and seem to catch others up and we sit and pity ourselves and wonder why. It is because as Lysa said it is a bigger issue than emotions it's really about spiritual deprivation. There was so much more I would love to comment on but I will just leave you with the verse from page 133 and let that be our prayer today!

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 3:22-24

Chapters 14 and 15 next week. Have a blessed day!

What I''m Reading Wednesday

2011-03-23T12:49:00.002-04:00

Happy Wednesday! Once again the reading this week was awesome. Awesome in a very convicting way.

This Isn't Fair - Chapter 10

Well this I know has been a reoccurring theme in my life. I can't count the times I have said those words, given in to the temptation, and cried myself to sleep because of the guilt.

Our flesh buys right into Satan's lie that it's not fair for things to be withheld from us. So we bite into the forbidden fruit and allow Satan to write "shame" across our heart.(page100)

And whether we are talking about having premarital sex or cheating on our diet, once we taste the forbidden fruit, we will crave it worse than we craved it before. Thereby giving temptation more and more power. And given enough power, temptation will consume our thoughts, redirect our actions, and demand our worship. Temptation doesn't take kindly to being starved.(page 101)

Wow! Powerful words. Convicting words. And no it does not take kindly to being starved. It will kick, scream, and fight for our undivided attention. Satan can not take our salvation but he will snatch up our freedom and our purpose here on earth quicker than you can ever imagine.

God's power is made perfect in weakness. This stirs my heart. Weakness is hard, but weakness doesn't have to mean defeat. It is my opportunity to experience God's power firsthand. Had I said yes to that one bite that first night of vacation, there would have been more compromises.Compromise built upon compromise equals failure.(pages103-104)

Yes it does. We do one little thing and the next thing you know we are sitting at the bottom of a well decorated pit wondering how we got here and how we are ever going to be able to get out. We can not compromise girls. We need to stand firm and rejoice that even though we may be weak God's power can be made perfect in that weakness.

Stinkin', Rotten, Horrible, No Good Day - Chapter 11

This chapter had so much good to say. We do need to be prepared for the hard times because they are as inevitable as the gray hairs in my head. Lysa gave a lot of good info on what to do in the hard times.

Taking off my mask means I have to admit that there's a problem, and I really don't want to do that. Admitting I have a problem will likely require that I make changes, and changes are hard.(page 112)

I think that sums it all up. This is hard. Nothing about it is easy. We want easy street. We dream about it. We want to wake up one morning thin, happy, and contented and we don't want any part of it to be hard. But it is hard so instead we wear the mask and ignore the elephant in the room until we reach our breaking point.

I really liked what she said about our prayers where we don't speak at all. There is such value in just being still and quiet. It is a discipline I a know I need to work on.

Well there are just a few of my thoughts this week! I would love to share more but a messy house, 3 kids who still need to finish school, and 2 dogs are calling my name:) What about you??? Next week we will discuss chapters 12 and 13!

Have a blessed week!

What I''m Reading Wednesday

2011-03-10T07:07:00.008-05:00

*I started this post last Thursday and it never got posted. Sorry. Life comes at you fast sometimes and I am barely keeping up:) I figured I would put this up today and we would read the next two chapters (10 and 11) for next Wednesday.

Part of the reason this didn't happen last Wednesday was because I spoke at a MOPS group that was quite a distance away and I had stuff I needed to do when I got home and I went out to eat with some relatives visiting from out of town but mostly it didn't happen because I have NO typing skills. I type like a two year old and posting anything takes me forever. I need to have a good 30 minute window of time to be able to post. Sad I know. I should have paid more attention in typing class in high school....it's probably one of the many classes I failed. I saw the new software that will type for you what you speak and I would love to know if that really works because it would be so freeing. I would probably be on here so much you would get tired of me. I often feel like there are things I want to tell you but run out of time to sit down and get it typed out.

I also run out of time to proof everything I type so if any of you saw in the last post that I spelled as with two s's before it was brought to my attention and I fixed I'm sorry.

The exciting thing about MOPS last week is that I got to meet Made to Mother. I love putting a person to the comments. So cool.

I also was going to post and tell you all about the Philadelphia Flower Show I went to last Monday but don't have time to type it all out. I will just say it was fabulous and if you have never been you should go. I don't even plant anything and I loved it(I won't even pretend to have a green thumb - I kill everything). Two friends of mine went with me. We went on a bus trip. It was a blast. So next year get out your polyester pants suit, get on the bus, and go.

There is so much I loved about the two chapter we read this week I will never be able to share it all(what are tankles anyway????). If you are reading along and you are behind just keep reading and then feel free to go back and post comments wherever you are in your reading.

Making Peace With The Realities of My Body - Chapter 8

Plus, being at her goal weight and still having to watch what she ate without the reward of watching the scale numbers go down wasn't as fun.(page 80)

Ugh! I know the feeling and this has been the most frustrating part of my journey. In 2006 I went on a trip to Las Vegas with my mom and grandma and it was when I got home from that trip and looked at pictures that I knew I had to lose weight. I did Weight Watchers and lost 40 pounds and felt great. After I lost the weight I thought I could go back to eating the way I used to and when I did the weight started coming back on and I realized that this was no longer about a "diet" for me but I would need to eat this way for the rest of my life. I was sad about that.

Define your week by obedience, not by a number on the scale. (page 81)

Well said. I talked about this before. That number on that stupid scale controls me and my mood for the day and I have yet to kick the habit of standing on the stupid thing every day.

I could eat healthy and exercise until the cows come home and never look like Victoria or any of her friends.

Yes, eating healthy and exercising get our bodies into better shape, but we are never supposed to get the satisfaction of our souls desire from our looks. Our looks are temporary; if we hitch our souls to this fleeting pursuit, we'll quickly become disillusioned. The only true satisfaction we can seek is the satisfaction of being obedient to the Lord.(page 82)

I have hitched my soul to this fleeting pursuit for more years than I care to mention and guess what.... There is always someone younger, thinner, and prettier than me. There I said it. I will never be Victoria or one of her girls but I can be a girl who is healthy and in love with Jesus. I have spent too many years disillusioned and feeling unsatisfied. I think it is time to evaluate and make some changes.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "Though we travel the world over to find beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not." (page 83)

Well said. I love it. There were other things in this chapter that really spoke to me also but for the sake of the length of this post I will just end with that quote!

But Exercise Makes Me Want To Cry - Chapter 9

If I was honest with myself, my issue was plain and simple-a lack of self-control. I could sugarcoat it and justify it all day long, but the truth was I didn't have a weight problem; I had a spiritual problem. (page 88)

For too long I have kept my spiritual and my physical separated. I am realizing my weight issue is really a spiritual issue. Now to deal with that.....

However, if I were really honest, I'd have to admit I made time for what I wanted to make time for. (page 92)

I have said this for years. I always complain I don't have time for certain things but I always make time to do what I want to do. I believe this is true of most everybody. We spend too much time doing things that don't matter and complain we don't have time to do the things that do.

My mom loves to say the best kind of exercise is the kind you'll do. I agree. (page 94)

Ok...I agree but what happens when you hate all forms of exercise????? People probably think I love to exercise. I exercise 4 to 5 times a week and have for years. I walked, I ran, I participated in a few 5k's and now I have a gym membership. I still hate it. Just this morning on the treadmill 3 minutes in and I wanted to die. I wanted it to end. I do it because I know I should(not to mention that unending pursuit we discussed earlier) but at no time do I truly enjoy it. I guess it is one of those disciplines, that like it or not, I will always need to do. By the way I just loved the title of this chapter:)

Well, that's my thoughts for this week. I would love to hear from you!

Have a blessed day!

What I''m Reading Wednesday

2011-03-02T09:52:00.003-05:00

Good Wednesday morning! I hope you all are doing well. This week's reading was once again convicting but also uplifting. I never feel condemnation when reading this. Lysa's honesty and vulnerability make it so easy to relate.

Growing Closer to God - Chapter 6

Yes, I want to lose weight. But this journey is so much more than that. It really is about learning to tell myself no and learning to make wiser choices daily.(page 60)

I think when we finally come to the realization that life is a journey and it is about learning to deny ourselves and take up our cross daily more than about the one thing that is in front of us at the moment(losing weight, relationship struggles, addictions, etc.)we finally are at a place to make real change. We can make wiser choices each day and before we know it we will have permanent lasting results in our life.

Being ruled by something other than God diminishes our commitment and will make us feel increasingly distant from Him.(page 66)

Well said. We so often work on so many areas of our life that we think we can just hang on to this one bad habit or we think there is this one thing we really just can't change but God won't mind because we are doing well in other aspects of our life. The truth is that the one thing we are struggling with is keeping us from the relationship God desires to have with us. Not only that eventually we wake up and realize how that one thing has made us distant from God.

I'm Not Defined by the Numbers - Chapter 7

I am a Jesus girl who can step on the scale and see the numbers as an indication of how much my body weighs and not as an indication of my worth.(page 74)

Ugh! That was a tough statement for me to read. I have been obsessed with my weight and how I look for more years than I care to share. I remember my French teacher in high school pulling me aside because she feared I was anorexic. The number on the scale that I look at more than once a day is usually what I use to define myself and what my day will be like. I feel a twinge of embarrassment just admitting it but it is true. A battle that I have yet been able to overcome. I have for too long confused wanting to be healthy with vanity.

We can literally say to a comment or a thought that presents itself to us, "Are you true? Are you beneficial? Are you necessary?" And if the answer is no, then we don't open the door of our heart. We make the choice to walk away from the comment and all the negative thoughts it could harvest if we let it in.(page 75)

I hope you caught that....it is our choice. So often as women we take one little comment and we run so far with it that it nearly threatens to destroy us. How freeing to know we have the power to not allow that to happen. We don't need to dwell on things that are not true, beneficial, or necessary. We don't need to feed those negative thoughts. We can close the door on it and move on victoriously!

Well ladies, I would love to hear from any of you that are reading along. Next week chapters 8&9. I have some other stuff to share but haven't had a spare minute to get on here but I hope to before next Wednesday. I have a MOPS group Friday I am speaking at and a retreat at our church this Friday night and Saturday. I am also preparing some training material for a women's ministry team I am on. With all that and regular life stuff the blog is hard to maintain but I don't want to give it up because when I do get on it is very therapeutic:)

Have a blessed day!

What I'm Reading Wednesday

2011-02-23T11:09:00.003-05:00

Wow! The last week just flew by here. Between appointments and school I just haven't been on here:( It started last Thursday with some record high temperatures which I absolutely love and now we are back to the freezing cold which I absolutely hate. Oh well the way time flies around here I will be sitting in the warm sunshine before i know it. Yeah! I thought this week was a good week in our reading and this book is so easy to read.....so let's get to it.

Friends Don't Let Friends Eat before Thinking - Chapter 4

We must be aware that desperation breeds degradation. In other words, when what is lacking in life goes from being an annoyance to an anxiety we run the risk of compromising in ways we never thought we would. (page 42)

This is so true. When something is lacking we will become desperate. I know in my own life I have ended up compromising in many ways I never thought possible. Awareness of this fact is the first step to safeguard yourself. Walking around saying that it could never happen to you is one of the most foolish things you can do.

Be aware and be on guard, sweet sister. Know that these are devised schemes to lure you away from your commitments. Find a friend who can speak rationality into your irrational impuleses. A friend who will hold you accountable, speak the truth in love, and pray for you. (page 43)

Accountability will be a huge factor in your success or failure. We were never meant to do life alone. It is much easier said than done usually because of our insecurities.

Complete this sentence: I do/do not want to invite a friend to help me on my journey to healthy eating because....(page 47)

Because then I would have to be honest with myself. It is much easier to try and fool myself than to try and fool someone else.

Made for More - Chapter 5

"You were made for more, Lysa, you were made fore more." I remembered it especially in those early weeks of my new healthy eating adventure when I was tempted by one million assaults on my sugar-deprived taste buds. I just kept mentally repeating.....made for more......made for more.(page 50)

The neurons in our brain create paths based on the things we repeat the most. If what we say to ourselves is mostly negative the path becomes more well defined and easier traveled. Repeating "made for more" to ourselves can change the path of our regular thinking and thus change our life. You get control of your thoughts and you regain control of your life.

I would love to share more today but I need to be going. What about you??? What struck you this week. Please check out the comments section. Becky and Made to Mother have lots of great things to say. Next week is chapters 6 and 7!

Have a blessed day!

What I'm Reading Wednesday

2011-02-16T11:09:00.003-05:00

Can I just say I am loving this book. One of the things I like the most is how easy it is to read and how short the chapters are. I actually feel like I am accomplishing something:)

Replacing My Cravings - Chapter 2

Vowing to do better, eat healthier, and make good choices, I head into my dy only to find myself making more excuses, rationalizations, and promises for later.

Always later.

And the cycle I've come to hate and feel powerless to stop continues.(page 28)

I know exactly what she is talking about. I am queen of later. It is a trap. Tomorrow comes and I still fall prey to temptations. A cycle that desperately needs broken. Thankfully God is interested in breaking our cycles. I also love how honest she was about she starts every morning on the scale. I had to laugh because I have weighed myself everyday for years and I go through the same ritual and I hate it.

How do you respond to the idea of using your cravings as a prompt to pray? How has prayer helped or failed to help in your previous food battles?(page 33)

I think it is an awesome idea. Just like the idea of using scripture in the previous chapter. I just never tried it I guess. I used to never think of my spiritual and physical being connected. Prayer was never my first response when trying to lose weight or fight off a craving.

Getting a Plan - Chapter 3

Food had become like a drug. And honestly, it's a good drug of choice for a Christian woman. Every church event I attended readily provided my drug out in the open with no hesitation or judgment.(page 37)

Amen.....enough said.

My changes were always temporary; therefore my results were also temporary. (page 38)

This has always been my issue. I lose weight and I go back to old habits and I gain it back. This chapter was all about finding a plan that works and making it a lifestyle. That is the key. It is not a diet it is a way of life.

Do your feelings change when the plan is about food, what you will eat and not eat?(page 40)

Yes! As soon as I have a plan in place I feel deprived, I crave things, and I get grumpy. I need to change my perspective. On page 39 she encouraged us to look at it as embracing healthy choices rather than denying ourselves.

Well there are some of my thoughts....what about you??? Next week we will discuss chapters 4 and 5!

Have a blessed day!

Vanity, Sanity, and Other Issues

2011-02-13T07:07:00.005-05:00

Ok so this week there was no Fabulous Friday because quite frankly I did not feel "fabulous" at all. I did realize some issues that I have. Don't you just love that. When you realize your still carrying around the same old baggage you just decided to carry it in a designer bag instead of a sack and so thus you pretend it is not there.

I have not been feeling well. I decided to go back to the doctors. I was already there two weeks ago. I end up at a doctor's office maybe once a year for myself if that. It' s not that I don't like doctors I just don't tend to like to listen so it really makes the visit a waste of time and co-pay. This is my issue not theirs. They are usually very kind and gracious.

After arriving on Thursday to find out that the antibiotic didn't help the bronchitis and now he hears wheezing in my chest and wants to put me on heavier antibiotic and steroids and an inhaler I was needless to say not happy. The conversation went something like this:

Doctor: We have 2 options just prescribe the medication because I am sure you need it or do a chest x-ray to confirm my findings although I don't think because of the wheezing I will change my mind on the treatment anyway.

Me: Can we do the chest x-ray because I don't want to take all the medication n(what I really mean is I have worked hard for the last month at the gym and I don't want to go on the steroid and I don't want to slow down)

Doctor: Chest x-ray confirms pneumonia

Me: Do I really have to take ALL that medicine and is bed rest really necessary?

Doctor: ?????

I believe he was dumbfounded by my response and it was then I realized that vanity and me are still fighting the same old stinking battle we have been fighting for years. You know if with pneumonia I insist on going to Kohls for furry leg warmers that are on clearance for $9 I have issues. Notice I said issues not issue.

Issue number two:

I have not slowed down. Went to co-op Friday and then to a museum I had free tickets for. I reasoned what homeschool mom gives up FREE tickets to a museum????

Issue number three:

I am stubborn and I don't listen and I hide it really well. Which will probably lead to an early demise. I told my kids just to cremate me put me in snack baggies and give me away to all my friends and leave some of me at all my "happy" places. So if you come across a baggie of ashes at the Coach Factory Outlet you will know things did not end well. This is the point where my kids go check their bank accounts to be sure they are saving enough for good quality therapy.

But seriously I tell women all the time they need to CEASE all the activity and then I go and don't listen myself. Ugh!

So it's Sunday morning and here I sit not feeling a whole lot better. Realizing I still struggle to put into practice all that I teach. I have been meditating on Jeremiah 23:29:

"Is not my word like fire," declares the LORD, "and like a hammer that breaks a rock in pieces?

I know I need His fire to penetrate my heart and mind. And sometimes I am stubborn as a dang rock but He is gracious and He is faithful and He is patient with this work in progress who still has "issues".

By the way the leg warmers are too cute. I think they are actually called "boot covers". And the steroid has made me eat like a wild woman and feel like I am about to jump out of my skin. Greg said it is how I normally act the medication is just allowing me to see it. Funny Greg, real funny.

Well enough of that....as you can see I still have a lot of unpacking of my baggage to do.

Have a blessed Sunday!

What I'm Reading Wednesday

2011-02-09T09:18:00.003-05:00

It’s Wednesday and we are starting our discussion on Made to Crave. Just a few housekeeping details before we start. I will post any direct quotes from the book in red. My response will be bolded in black. I will pull out the things that stuck out to me the most and also maybe a question or two from the end of each chapter. If you are reading the book please jump in and add comments. We have so much to learn from one another I don’t want my voice to be the only one heard. With that said this week I will discuss the intro and chapter one…..

Intro: Finding Your “Want To”

To others, 167 is a dream weight. In my case, the number itself was not the issue. The issue was how I felt mentally, spiritually, and physically. It was time to be honest with myself.(page 13)

Lysa is so right with this statement. The number is not the issue. We get so caught up in what the scale says that we forget about the condition of our heart and most of our unhealthy choices come out of an unhealthy heart. Getting honest is always the first step to change. An honest evaluation and keen awareness of where you are and where you want to be will be the catalyst for real change in your life.

God made us capable of craving so we’d have an unquenchable desire for more of Him, and Him alone. Nothing changes until we make the choice to redirect our misguided cravings to the only one capable of satisfying them.(page 16)

Ugh! Nothing new there. We all know we have empty space that was created to be filled by God so then why do we always grasp for the things that make us even emptier. I know why…because they feel good and they are usually a quick temporary fix. I am not just talking about food here. It can be anything we exalt above our desire for God. That is the definition of a stronghold, isn’t it? And quick is the key word because we want things to feel better and feel better fast. Our feelings deceive us….The heart is deceitful above all else.

Chapter 1: What’s Really Going On Here?

As I was studying this story I realized how intentionally Satan chooses his tactics. He knows where we are weak. He desires to lure us away from God. And he knows what works…the cravings of the sinful man, the lust of his eyes, and the boasting of what he has or does.(page 22)

I hope we all realize Satan’s tactics. We need to always be on alert because he knows where we are weak. He can’t read our minds but he sure knows how to read our behavior. I think we often kid ourselves into thinking he is too busy to mess with us and in our denial we end up falling flat on our face completely lured away from God.

Jesus quotes the truth of scripture to defeat temptation (page 22). Have you ever used scripture in this way? What was the result? How do you feel about the idea of using this approach to address your unhealthy eating patterns?(question 5 page 26)

I have used scripture in this way and it is a method I teach often. Scripture is our offensive weapon. It is the divine power we have to demolish any stronghold. The result was always victory. I believe we can use this method to address our unhealthy eating patterns and anything else that we have exalted above God.

So what about you???? What struck you in these two chapters? Please share with us. Next Wednesday we will discuss chapters 2&3.

Have a blessed day!

It's Monday!!!!

2011-02-07T12:22:00.002-05:00

Happy Monday blog world! Hope your all doing well. I am doing fantastic. Who wouldn't be after the weekend I just had. The Girlfriends Getaway was far more than I ever dreamed possible. If any of you Faith Church girls are reading this....thank you, thank you, thank you. I was not kidding when I told you I could retire from speaking and would feel totally at peace and totally fulfilled after being with you girls this weekend. You are a very special group and I will not soon forget our time together. I could have easily spent a week with you all! You made me feel completely comfortable and I felt like I was a part of your group for years. God was present this weekend and spoke so much into many of our hearts. I came home and crashed on my couch and cried when I thought about the grace he showered on us this weekend. I miss you so much already. Just remember the "after retreat crash" we talked about. Don't despair and don't feel overwhelmed. Start each day with the ONE thing so you will know the one thing you need to do today!

For those of you reading who didn't spend the weekend with us....I'm sorry but you missed something great:) I did want to jump on today and talk a little bit about this Wednesday. Remember this week I am starting "What I'm Reading Wednesday" and I am starting with Lysa TerKeurst's new book "Made to Crave". I read through the Introduction and Chapter 1 and that's what I will be discussing on Wednesday. I hope any of you reading the book jumps in on the conversation because we have so much to learn from each other! I am sooo excited.

Well it's time for me to get back to the real world. Hope your day is blessed!

Fabulous Friday

2011-02-04T06:54:00.003-05:00

It is Friday and it is fabulous. I put the numbers into the random number generator and the winner of Lysa's new book is comment #2 - Chris. So Chris please e-mail me your address ASAP and I will send out the book.

I can't wait to start discussing this new book next Wednesday!

Pray for me this weekend as I speak at The Girlfriends Getaway Retreat in Hershey. I am soooo excited!

And the last "fabulous" thing I want to share with you today is a new favorite song of mine. It is a new spin on a childhood favorite:

Have a blessed day!

So this is what I am thinking....

2011-01-29T14:29:00.003-05:00

I have been thinking alot about the blog and what direction I should go and this is what I came up with....

I am going to return to some of the old stuff and even try something new. I will go back to doing an occasional "Make a Choice Monday" and "Fashion Friday" but I think I will actually call it "Fabulous Friday" because it might not always be about fashion but it will be about something fabulous:)

And now to the new....I thought about the things I am passionate about and although there are many one thing stands out....I LOVE to read. So starting on Wedenesday February 9, 2011 I will begin something I will call "What I'm Reading Wednesday". I am super excited! Each week I will discuss a chapter in a book I am reading. I hope some of you will join me because discussing it with myslef could tend to be a bit one sided.

My first selection will be a new book by Lysa TerKeurst called "Made To Crave". Anyone who leaves a comment on this post between now and Thursday February 3, 2011 will be entered for a chance to win the book! Here is what the book is about:

Has food become more about frustration than fulfillment? The New York Times Best Selling book Made to Crave is the missing link between a woman’s desire to be healthy and the spiritual empowerment necessary to make that happen. Author Lysa TerKeurst personally understands the battle that women face. In Made to Crave, she will help you:

*Break the cycle of “I’ll start again on Monday,” and feel good about yourself today.

*Stop agonizing over numbers on the scale and make peace with your body.

*Replace rationalization that leads to diet failure with wisdom that leads to victory.

*Reach your healthy goals and grow closer to God through the process.

This book is not a how-to manual or the latest, greatest dieting plan. Made to Crave is a helpful companion to use alongside whatever healthy eating approach you choose —a book and Bible study to help you find the “want to” in how to make healthy lifestyle changes.

Join Lysa and experience all that you were made to crave!

You can read more on the Made to Crave Website!

Please don't read this and think just because food isn't what you struggle with you don't need to read it. I believe we all try to fill our empty places with all kinds of different unhealthy things, not just food, and this book can help us look at all the things we "crave" that aren't good for us.

I hope you will join me! Remember leave a comment for a chance to win the book!

Have a blessed weekend!

Something Else to Think About...

2011-01-25T09:10:00.004-05:00

"We live under a law of sowing and reaping that is as certain and unrelenting as disease and death."~Debi Pearl

I am reading "Created to be His Help Meet" by Debi Pearl. It is a hard read. She is right on so far in everything I have read but it goes completely against everything we feel and think about marriage.

Marriage is one of the most complex relationships we will ever be a part of. I was also listening to a sermon given last week at LCBC. Mark Gungor is talking about marriage. It is worth the time to listen. He is funny but very truthful.

Just thought I would jump on and give you something to think about today:) Be blessed!

Something to Think About

2011-01-24T11:37:00.002-05:00

"If your smart enough about what you do when you make a mistake you can change your destiny" ~ Dr. Oz

"Come now, let us argue this out," says the LORD. "No matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can remove it. I can make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you as white as wool. If you will only obey me and let me help you, then you will have plenty to eat. But if you keep turning away and refusing to listen, you will be destroyed by your enemies. I, the LORD, have spoken!" ~Isaiah 1:18-20

I heard the above quote on the Dr. Oz show today. Funny thing is I had read the above verses today in my quiet time. Although Dr. Oz was talking about weight loss I think what he said hit the nail on the head.

It is not so much about the mistakes that we make that determine our destiny as much as what we do when those mistakes happen. We just need to obey God and let Him help us. He wants to do that. Nothing we have done is too big for the cross but we have to obey and listen. We can't continue to turn away and refuse to listen. An action on our part. I am not minimizing how difficult this can be. Sometimes we refuse to listen because we don't want to let go of something that we know is not good for us because we love it dearly and can't understand how God could possibly fill the void when it is gone. Sometimes we refuse to listen because we are hurting and we are struggling to trust. What ever it is that inhibits us we just need to know it can destroy us if we don't let God do His perfect work.

I love how it says "let us argue this out" I know I have had to argue quite a few things out lately with God. Another version says "let's settle this". I will forever be grateful that He is willing to settle it and not let me to self destruct. What love He has for us and what grace....my mind can barely fathom it.

Today I pray we all be smart enough about what to do when we have made a mistake. He is waiting to remove our sin no matter how deep the stain....Hallelujah!

Have a blessed day!

To blog or not to blog....

2011-01-18T15:36:00.003-05:00

So January came and all my blogging plans went right out the window. Feeling like I have a lack of anything interesting to say and also juggling all my other responsibilites I have written nothing. Obviously....tell you something you don't know, right. I could bore you with all the details of the chaotic holiday or of my daily goings on but I will spare you the drudgery of reading it.

This is what a writer must feel like when they get writer's block. Stuck. Staring at the computer screen hoping something profound appears in front of them. I guess it is just the ebb and flow of life. One day you are full of ambition and many wonderful words to proclaim and the next you are at a complete loss. Silent. Although I feel like I have spent way to long being silent lately. Kinda scary for someone who "talks" for a living. Ok...not really a living but you know what I mean.

I did want to jump on today and let you know I am still here. I plan on maintaining the blog because it has all my speaking info on it. I hope to get some good things to share with you on the blog soon.

I did have some awesome speaking opportunites lately. Everytime I go out I am so blessed by the women I meet. I am also looking forward to doing a retreat for Faith Church at Hotel Hershey the beginning of February. The topic is CPR for Weary Women and I could not be more excited. Trust me I am an expert weary woman so I have lots of personal research on the topic.

Well it felt good to write something down to you today. Hopefully I will make a habit of it:) I know that is the key when we feel stuck. Just do it(o.k. maybe thats's Nike). Sometimes we just need to do the thing. Putting feelings aside and just doing the next thing. I just need to put blogging on my priority list and sit down and start typing. So there I said it and now I just need to take my own advice.

Hope your day is blessed and hope to see you back here real soon!

Diagonol Lines

2010-12-11T14:33:00.005-05:00

Life comes at you fast. One day I write on my blog and the next thing you know its over a month later and I realize I haven't posted a thing. Sad really because there was a time when I loved to post on my blog. I still love it but can't seem to find the time. I received a copy of a Lancaster County devotional today and I realized how much I miss writing. I was actually going to submit something to this devotional but life happened and I missed the deadline. I always just go on thinking it just wasn't my time but maybe it was and I was too distracted with things instead of being obedient.

I visited an art museum on Monday with my kids(yes, occasionally Ellie Mae takes the kids out to things like that- after praying they wouldn't touch anything or notice the two naked women paintings I was glad to be back home) but anyway the guide was talking to the kids about the artwork. She explained that pictures painted with horizontal lines were very calming but the ones painted with diagonal lines depicted movement and chaos. My life must be painted with diagonal lines because there is always movement and a bit of chaos also.

I started out in November speaking at a workshop for a group of ladies in Cressona, PA. The topic was CPR for Weary Women and I had a blast. Then mid-November Greg and I spent the night near Ocean City, N.J. where I spoke at two luncheons. It was the first time he heard me speak and it was different having him in the audience. I finished the month at a MOPS group in Hanover, PA.

December has been no different. I have already been blessed to speak at 4 women's groups and have two MOPS groups to finish out the month. I am thrilled to be blessed to do what I do but sometimes it takes me away from my blog. I have really been missing it and hope to have some new and exciting stuff for the New Year.

Today is Greg's birthday. He just went for a run so I thought it would be good time to give you all an update. We are babysitting Nathan tonight so I really should be going. I just wanted to jump on and let anyone who still checks this that I am here and hopefully will be back more frequently in the near future.

I pray your holiday is blessed!

Still Laughing

2010-11-01T13:03:00.002-04:00

I woke up this morning after a terrible nights sleep to find out that my e-mail address and Facebook account has been hacked. Everything was gone and I really can't get on Facebook which is not a big loss because I got on about once a month anyway. At first it was upsetting but now I am just laughing. I know my blog address was in there so in hopes that the "hackers" visit my blog I have a little letter for them:

Dear Computer Hackers(is that what you like to be called???):

I just wanted to write you a note and tell you that it takes more than a little computer hacking to ruin my day. I hope you are ashamed because if your mother knew what you were doing she would be mortified. My husband fears you are trying to steal my identity so I thought I would give you a little rundown on what that looks like. Typical day:

*Get up at 5:30 and take both dogs out to potty

*Have a little quiet time before all the chaos starts

*Eat yogurt because you are once again on a diet

*Get three kids breakfast

*Make sure Cayla is up and Chris doesn't need anything before he works or goes to school(don't panic you will get down which days he does which)

*By now the puppy has probably had an accident on the floor so you might want to clean that up because I guarantee you someone WILL step in it if you don't get it right away

*Deal with the mouse poop found in kitchen(yes you read it right)

*Find mousetraps for aforementioned mouse issue(I hope this doesn't totally freak you out)

*Spend countless hours on the phone with MSN and your well meaning friends because of some computer hacker(Oops...forgot that's you)

*Do school(did I forget to mention we homeschool????)

*Deal with the Halloween candy that we are up to our knees in(I thought about doing a dentist buy back because I can't afford the extra calories but since your me you can decide because maybe your a little younger and have a better metabolism than I do)

*Take puppy to the vet

*Drop off stuff to grandson(Yeppers you are now a grandparent....congrats!)

*Go for walk....remember metabolism issue???? And dress warm - it's cold here but I guess your used to that because Colorado can be frigid

*Clean up a whirlwind of mess and switch the 6th load of laundry(you might want to get into the habit of starting the laundry early in the day because we average about 4 loads a day but its up to you)

*Go to Upwards banquet

*Pick up Cayla from drums

*Break up 6 fights, clean up 12 spills, and I am sure the puppy has had another accident by now

*Go to Chris's hockey game at 8:30 in Lemoyne(40 minute drive - use GPS - sometimes the games are at 10:30 and you don't even get home til midnight)

*Come home put three little ones to bed(don't forget to brush teeth, make sure they go potty, and say prayers)

*Help Cayla with chemistry(maybe you will find it easy with all the knowledge you seem to have but it's like getting a root canal for me)

*Pay bills(by the way there is not much money left after that so you might want to get a part time job but I hope you do something a little more honest than computer hacking)

*Wash your face and put on moisturizer(we are starting to get old)

*Brush teeth

*Fall into bed exhausted around 11:30

*Get up with puppy at 2:30

*Wake up and REPEAT

Ok, so I know it seems a bit overwhelming but remember you wanted my identity. I would tell you to e-mail me if you get in a jam or have any questions but remember the e-mail is out of commission so you shot yourself in the foot with that one. As for me I will be vacationing someplace warm. And just so you know I would never ask for money to come home from England. I would ask for money to STAY someplace sunny and warm:) Good luck and have fun!

Love always,
The one you hacked but is still smiling

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. ~Proverbs 31:25

I am still laughing because no one can take my strength and dignity!

Hope your day is blessed and "hacker" free!

Laughter

2010-10-30T08:51:00.002-04:00

I watched this video this morning and it made me laugh. This guy is hilarious. I do love to laugh. My family makes fun of me and says my laugh is too loud and obnoxious. Oh well...I realized today that I don't laugh nearly enough anymore.

Life is so "heavy" and we can easily get drug down and forget to lighten up. So I hope this weekend you find something to laugh at and I don't mean just a giggle but a good, long, make your stomach hurt laugh.

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.~Proverbs 31:25

I love you all! Have a blessed weekend!

Zoe Lu!!!!

2010-10-16T19:46:00.005-04:00

Well, this is the newest addition to our family. Her name is Zoe Lu. She is part Cairn Terrier and part Bichon. I wanted Lulu but I was outvoted, which is really ok because I think she looks just like a Zoe. She is just about the sweetest puppy I have ever seen. She isn't giving me much sleep at night but I love her anyway. Besides I get a lot of thinking done while I am sitting outback of my house at 3 a.m. waiting for her to "go".

My daughter said she looks just like me. Wild hair with dark roots.....

I took this picture with my Iphone myself so its not very good but hopefully I will get a better one soon. I can't wait to show you what her little three pounds of cuteness looks like next to my 90 pound American bulldog/boxer Niah. They are hysterical together.

On a totally unrelated note my husband pointed out to me that the title of my last post said "Her I am". In case you were as perplexed as he, I thought I would let you know that there was no deep philosophical reason I just apparently didn't proofread the post. It obviously was supposed to say "Here I am". After I thought about it though it would be a good post because I am her. Her who is need of God's grace daily. Her who is desperate for Him because I know apart from Him I am a stinkin mess. Her who is trying to be a better wife, mom, friend, and follower of Christ. Her who realizes that I have no peace and no joy apart from Jesus. So yes I guess you could say "her I am". I am lots of "hers" trying to wear all my many hats well and depending on mercy to get through each moment of each day.

On yet another totally unrelated note(are you detecting a theme here???)tonight in church we sang a song I was not familiar with but there was one line I can not get out of my head. It said "spare us any joy apart from you". Just think about that. What if that became our prayer? What if we asked Him daily to spare us any joy that wasn't of Him. Wow....that would be powerful.

You see there are things that temporarily bring me joy and happiness but when they aren't of Him I am only deceiving myself and often times the thing that I thought made me sooo "joyful" ended up being a detriment to my walk and my relationship with Christ. So I think I will start praying this powerful few words daily and see what happens. In fact I think I will start praying it down over my entire family.

Spare me any joy Lord apart from you! You are the only true joy giver and you give so freely. Thank you.

Have a blessed night!

Her I am!

2010-10-07T17:17:00.002-04:00

I started writing this post earlier this week on my laptop and it had all kinds of fits. I know. I know. It is time to get a new one but this one has been through so much with me. Countless hours of me banging on the keyboard sometimes saying nothing meaningful at all and sometimes having HUGE revelations. So I am a bit hesitant to let her go. So here's the run down(in no certain order, of course):

~Paul Baloche....that's who I am listening to right now and will be leaving to go see live in a few minutes!!!!

~Marmeduke....the last movie I watched when a field trip got canceled because of rain and I needed to bribe my kids to do school:)

~Lulu Princess....the name(at least I think) of the new puppy we are getting next week. Yes I am a dog lover and yes I am crazy. Was there ever any question?

~MOPS and MOMS....two groups I had the honor of speaking to this week. It was such a privilege. I love groups like this where mom's can support one another. It is by far the hardest job I have ever had and there is no room for wimps. We need to have a tenacious faith if we are ever going to survive this.

~Feelings....that is what God has laid on my heart lately when it comes to my kids. They will never remember everything I said(who could my mouth runs constantly)or everything I did but they will remember how I made them feel.

~Blocks....every block on our big old calendar is full for October. Maybe it is time to evaluate some things or maybe it's just a season and like all seasons this too shall pass.

~NOTW....a clothing brand that I love and they sell at Berean. There is the cutest long shirt thingy I would love to have to wear with leggings.

~Dieting...what I will have to do if I am ever going to attempt aforementioned leggings.(wow! I just used a huge word..but not sure if I used it right....what can I say I know I am blonde)

Well ladies I have some hair and makeup things to do before the concert. It is so funny because my hair used to be straight before I had children. No I didn't get perms I got extra doses of hormones so I have some unruly hair to deal with tonight! I miss and love you all....hope you have a blessed day!

Update

2010-09-18T07:46:00.002-04:00

Thought I would jump on here this morning and let you all know where I'm at. When I say all I mean my husband who is sitting right here and knows where I am and the other 3 people that possibly might read this:)

I am heading to a Beth Moore simulcast this morning and could not be more excited. I have loved her Bible studies and conferences and I can not wait to go and hear a Word today.

I was very busy this past week speaking and doing school and doing housework and driving my kids from here to there and cooking and.....ok enough playing my own sad song you get the picture. It was super busy and I am really tired. I did have an awesome time speaking to the 4 women's groups that I had an opportunity to share with but I am always grateful for busy weeks to come to an end.

I was thinking this week about the speaking I have been doing and God never ceases to amaze me. I am about as unqualified as a girl could be on my own and yet when I stand up He takes over and words actually come out of my mouth. Usually I want to throw up right up until the moment I stand there. He is so amazing. He uses everything if we will allow Him to.

I guess the "allowing Him to" is usually my biggest problem. Most of the time I am to stubborn and I miss out.

Well my laptop is starting to have one of its fits so I better get going. There is so much more going on I would love to tell you about. I will as soon as I can. I hope you have a blessed weekend!

Sorta a Joke

2010-09-07T14:00:00.002-04:00

Ok...my letter to Dell Computer was really meant as a joke. Not that it isn't all true but I really never expected Dell to leave a comment:) Too funny. Maybe I should write them a thank you note:

Dear Dell Computer:

Thank you for finding my blog. I know you like your customers to be happy and though my computer still doesn't work you have been very kind. Please stop by the blog anytime.

On a totally unrelated note I would like to write Dunkin Donuts a letter. Do you know when you order munchkins through the drive thru you can't do any special ordering. We are not fans of Dutch Crumb so I always ask for them to be left out. I had to go in the store to get my box of munchkins minus the Dutch Crumb. How inconvenient.

But I guess that is all I really have to complain about so I consider myself very blessed. Today is my 19th anniversary. I can't believe it. I was married at 18 years old and so you just have to do the math. I have been married over half my life. Greg is an awesome guy and though much of our time together has been a bit rocky I am blessed to be his wife and I love him dearly. I am looking forward to another 19 years and I know that they will fly by just like the last 19.

I just wanted to jump on and say hi to all of you but I really should be going. My grandbaby is coming at 3:30 and we are going to get pictures taken and buy him some new shoes!!!

Have a blessed day!

Computer Issues

2010-09-01T09:35:00.002-04:00

Dear Dell Computer~

I have put up with your shenanigans(is that a word?) long enough. I loved you when you first showed up on my doorstep all shiny and new and pink but you have let me down one too many times. Now I know you say that I have let you down by letting my virus protection and such expire but enough is enough. If you don't soon shape up I am replacing you. And also when I call for help and someone located who knows where takes control of my computer that is just weird. I hope whoever it is can't actually see me because last week we spent two hours together and I didn't have on one stitch of make-up. So next time I hit your power button and you decide to take an hour to power on just know that I won't be coming back......you will be dead to me!

Thanks from your very irritated owner!

So there you have it....we are having problems with my laptop AGAIN. I am so frustrated and when I call the problem doesn't get resolved and I spend valuable time just sitting in front of my laptop trying to keep the chaos at a minimum here so that the gentleman on the other end doesn't think he is connected to the zoo as opposed to a residence. I am afraid he will try to charge me the business rate.

On another totally unrelated note I haven't started school yet. I can't believe it myself. I usually try to have at least 10 days in by the time September rolls around but I haven't done a thing. My neighbor and I always say we will start when the spirit moves but she started this week and I haven't felt anything moving down my way. I guess I will start Tuesday regardless of what I feel.

I guess a lot of life is that way. We are called to do many things regardless of how we feel. So often our feelings just deceive us anyway. I was reading Psalm 51 and verse 6 says this:

Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

He does desire for us to have truth in our inner most parts because it is that truth that will guide us when we are tempted to follow our feelings down a path that could be very destructive. Trust me on this one...unfortunately I have had plenty of personal experience on following feelings down a destructive path.

We are headed to the mountains for the weekend and will back on Monday. If I can I will try and jump back on this weekend if the spirit moves but I make no promises:)

Have a blessed day! Is anyone still out there anyway????

An Update

2010-08-20T15:25:00.003-04:00

Thought I would let you know what is going on around here...

Outside my window...The sun is shining and I hear cicadas singing their songs.

I am thankful for...grace. God's grace is overwhelming to me at times. It brings a tear to my eye as I type this. Maybe it is because I am always in such need of it.

I am praying for... Many, many things. For my man and my kids. For school that will be starting soon. For the friends of my children. For my friends. For ministry and the women God gives me the privilege to serve.

From the kitchen... Not a thing going on out there....not unusual for me. Betty Crocker I am not:)

I am wearing...A skirt....now you know that is something unusual for me. Greg and I have a date tonight so I dressed up a bit.

I am creating... not much other than this blog post. I have been cleaning and decluttering over the last two weeks. I have hauled an unbelievable amount of stuff out of here so it hasn't left much time for creativity.

I am reading... Every Woman's Battle by Shannon Ethridge

I am hoping... to start working on a few writing projects. I miss having some creative time.

I am hearing... Lots of little voices. Sometimes loving one another and sometimes yelling at each other.

Around the house...It is clean!!!! I can't usually write that. What a good feeling.

One of my favorite things... to close my eyes and turn up a good worship song and let God's love wash over me.

A few plans(I never have a "few" plans so this is a bit of a joke) for the rest of the week... B-day party for my grandson, a b-day party for my great-niece, flag football practice, softball practice, a date with my hubby, a much needed nail appt., and a million other things I don't need to bore you with.

I am glad I had a minute to jump on and say a quick hello. Know that I think of the blog often and though I have no idea who reads anymore it is a blessing to be able to share here.

I hope you all have a blessed weekend!

New Favorite Song

2010-08-19T09:35:00.001-04:00

This entire album has been so good for me right now but this song is one of my favorites so I thought I would share it with you:)

Have a blessed day!

Getting Back Up

2010-08-18T10:25:00.004-04:00

I have been thinking a lot lately about God's grace and how we get back up when we have stumbled. Although I hope not to have as many comebacks as Brett Favre I know I actually will probably have more:)

I had a perfect storm brewing last spring. I was tired and burnt out....I didn't tend to that. I had some hurts and disappointments.....I just buried them. I had a whole lot of pride over some issues.....I didn't even recognize it. The speaking ministry was taking off....I didn't see that as a possible target of Satan.

Although I was oblivious to this the enemy was not. He was watching. He read my behavior. He heard what I was saying. I needed some things sifted and God allowed that. It was painful. It still is. I wish it were different. I wish I could go back and make changes. I can't. That's the bottom line I can't.

I can make a choice now though. You see it is not about what has happened as much as what will we allow God to do with it. We get to decide. We get to choose. He isn't interested in all in our reason's and excuses. He is interested in our response. He is interested in our today and what we will let Him do with our tomorrow. We are never alone. He never left me this summer. I have thought a lot about Peter lately.

"Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers. ~Luke 22:31&32

I love that it says that Jesus prayed that his faith may not fail. I know He prayed for me too this summer. I also love that Peter was going to have a comeback but he too didn't even realize his vulnerability. In that comeback Jesus told him to strengthen his brothers. Well girls it is my prayer that through my comeback that I can strengthen you. I love you all. I hope your all still out there some where!

So from a girl who is having a comeback moment I pray you have a blessed day!

An Explanation....

2010-08-10T16:35:00.003-04:00

Almost two months and the blog has been quiet. I owe you an explanation.

I was sitting in an airplane for the second time in a day. With tears running down my cheeks I heard the stewardess say "If we should lose cabin pressure an oxygen mask would drop from above. Please secure your own mask before helping others". That was it. I hadn't secured my own mask. I was weak. I stumbled.

I wish I could give more details but it would take days and lots of tissues. It has been a long summer and one I won't soon forget although I would love to.

The good news is I am getting back up. I feel like I had created this house of cards and I placed one the wrong way and the whole thing collapsed. The awesome thing is even in the rubble God's grace finds us. Not to mention the grace that has been bestowed on me by my husband, my children, and my friends.

As I continue to rebuild I really hope to be back on here. I hope to have something to say. All summer my words were gone but they are back:)

I want to tell you all about my family trip to California and all the things I learn in this process of rebuilding. One thing I do know is I will be once again securing my mask. I heard this song today in the car while I was traveling and it says it all. I will post the lyrics and then the song from you tube if you have time to listen:

"Get Back Up"

You turned away when I looked you in the eye,
And hesitated when I asked if you were alright,
Seems like you're fighting for you life,
But why? oh why?
Wide awake in the middle of your nightmare,
You saw it comin' but it hit you outta no where,
And theres always scars
When you fall back far

We lose our way,
We get back up again
It's never too late to get back up again,
One day you will shine again,
You may be knocked down,
But not out forever,
Lose our way,
We get back up again,
So get up, get up,
You gonna shine again,
Never too late to get back up again,
You may be knocked down,
But not out forever
(May be knocked down but not out forever)

You're rolled out at the dawning of the day
Heart racin' as you made you little get away,
It feels like you've been runnin' all your life
But, why? Oh why?

So you've pulled away from the love that would've been there,
You start believin' that your situation's unfair

But there's always scars,
When you fall back far

We lose our way,
We get back up again
Never too late to get back up again,
One day, you gonna shine again,
You may be knocked down but not out forever,
Lose our way, we get back up again,
So get up, get up
You gonna shine again
It's never too late, to get back up again
You may be knocked down, but not out forever,
May be knocked down, but not out forever!

This is love callin', love callin', out to the broken,
This is love callin'.
This is love callin', love callin', out to the broken
This is love callin'.
This is love callin', love callin',
I am so broken
This is love callin' love callin

Lose our way, (way way way ay ay ay)
We get back up, (get back up again)
It's never too late (late late late ate ate ate)
You may be knocked down but not out forever!

Lose our way,
We get back up again,
So get up get up
You gonna shine again
Never too late to get back up again
You may be knocked down,
But not out forever,

This is love (lose our way) callin' love callin' (get back up again)
To the broken
This is love (never too late) callin'
(may be knocked down but not out forever)
This is love (lose our way) callin' love callin' (we get back up again)
To the broken
This is love (never too late) callin'
(may be knocked down but not out forever)

This is love callin' love callin'
Out to the broken,
This is love callin'....

Have a blessed day.....I really missed telling you that, I hope your still out there!

Happy Father's Day

2010-06-20T07:51:00.002-04:00

I know I said I was back and I still didn't post all week. I think that is how the summer is going to go. Things here are going well but we are extremely busy. I spoke 5 times last week in the Reading area and then had a yard sale on Friday and Saturday.

I just wanted to jump on here and wish all the dads Happy Father's Day. Not that any men read my blog but anyway.....I know my hubby does and he is an awesome father!

We are getting ready to leave because he runs a 10k trail race in Lancaster on Father's Day and then we get lobster dinners from Stauffers. It is becoming a tradition and it's a lot of fun.

I know this day can be tough for those who lost their dads or for those who didn't have a very good relationship with their dad. Just want to remind you that we all have a papa who looks down on us and loves us perfectly. I know things here can be really tough and it is easy to lose sight of the fact that He love us and cares for us. He has shown me so much grace lately it has been unbelievable.

I hope your day and your week is blessed. I will be out of town next Thursday through Sunday. I am heading up north to a snake hunt and some time of much needed rest:) Yes it is a little "redneck" and yes I love it. I will try and update before I leave but if I don't just know that you are never far from my thoughts!

Have a blessed day!

I'm back.....I hope:)

2010-06-09T09:46:00.003-04:00

Is there anyone still out there???? I really let the blog go over the last month. I wish I could tell you everything that has happened but that would be a book in itself. I will just say that I am battling my way through and starting to come out the other side(I think) of one of the most difficult spiritual wars I have ever experienced.

Not sure why the attack and not sure why now. I do know that I have a very full schedule through the rest of this year and I do know I plan on meeting with a publisher the end of July and I also know that Satan would love to take me out right now and he almost did. But in the words of Pat Benetar....Hit Me With Your Best Shot!!!! He hit alright and even knocked me down a bit but what he seems to forget is if we allow God to do His work we come out of the battle stronger, a little worn but stronger and most importantly changed. This month has changed me tremendously and shaped me in a way that nothing else would have been able to.

It has taught me the full meaning of His grace and even though I felt like I was falling hard I never fell away from that grace just further into it. I am fighting back the tears even as I write this. If you have seen me over the last month you would never have even known this was going on. Only one person knew the depth of what I was experiencing but it was real and it was harsh.

I also have a new compassion for those who are struggling especially those who don't know Christ so maybe if for nothing else that is what God needed to show me. Please pray for me over the next few weeks as I will for sure experience aftershocks of the earthquake that has rocked me to my core. Pray that I don't give up because running is usually my first reaction. A million times over I wanted to cancel my publisher appointment and my speaking engagements but for some reason I think God wants me to keep going and by canceling Satan would be winning the battle. Pray that I find the time to finish writing and also for our vacation. We leave on July 9th for California and won't be back until July 28th. I then fly out July 29th to go to North Carolina for a conference and publisher appointment.

I miss you all dearly and if anyone is even still out there please leave a comment....it would be such a great encouragement and some motivation to keep going!

I updated my calendar today if you would like to know where to find me. Have a blessed day!

Silent....

2010-05-26T08:46:00.003-04:00

Sorry the blog has been so silent. It is a bit how my life has been in many ways lately. Don't get me wrong we are always plenty busy around hear but I have just felt the need to be quiet lately.

I am still wrestling through things with this Bible study I am doing. I have one more week and I don't think any other study has ever done to me what this one has. I have been in a wrestling match for a few weeks with this one and am not sure if it coming to an end will be a welcomed relief or if the work I need to do isn't finished and as hard as it is maybe I wish it would keep going. Only God knows what I need right now and I know He will be faithful even when I feel faithless.

I have had a lot of things come to an end recently. Softball is over. Co-op is over. Cayla's classes in Lancaster are over. Awana is over. School is now finished. I am trying to figure out some kind of summer routine other than get up when you feel like it and do whatever the rest of the day. That plan isn't really working so I know next week it will be time to lay down some ground rules.

Well I just wanted to jump on quick and let you know where I am at in case you thought I got swallowed up in a big hole or something.....that would be too easy:) I hope your day is blessed!

Too much going on to post....

2010-05-12T09:06:00.003-04:00

I know I never got back on here last week.....life is just like that here. A lot going on in life and in me. I never really full recovered from the trip when I found out my cousin's 20 year old son died in a car accident last week. Way too young. These are hard things to understand.

I also started a new Bible study a few weeks ago. About a week or two in I confided in my friend that for once I am not sure this is a study I need. See I am a very "needy" person. I all but have to drown myself in God's word or I fall apart but for some reason this topic didn't seem to be an issue. I was actually happy about that since so many other things are issues for me. But let me say ladies "pride cometh before the fall" because I got hit with some things last week and this is just the study I need right now. It has been deep. I have wrestled with God over quite a few things that I desperately want to hold onto and He is asking me to let go of. I hate letting go. When will I ever learn that what He asks us to let go of is so we can be given something greater??? I am so stubborn. It has taught me never to say that I have mastered something. There is always more to learn and ALWAYS more to weed out of my life.

Anyway, I feel like I am starting to ramble but I just wanted to let you know where I am at. Please pray for my cousin and his family. Pray for me as I speak at a mother/daughter gathering tomorrow night. Also I just want to leave you with a link to a video showing the Retuning Hearts celebration I was at last weekend. Just click on 2010 video. It is 7 minutes long but well worth it. Have a blessed day!

Freedom from behind bars????....

2010-05-03T09:37:00.004-04:00

He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers....Malachi 4:6

Louisiana State Penitentiary is a place of new beginnings. There is a sign that even says it when you enter through the front gate. I am sure some would say otherwise but it is true. Of the 5100 prisoners housed there for the most violent crimes over 2000 of them have formed a relationship with Jesus Christ. Freedom from behind bars. A paradox of sorts. Only God could orchestrate what I witnessed this past weekend. Men living in freedom in a way that most of us on the outside struggle ourselves to maintain.

As I looked into their faces and listened to their stories I realized I am no different than they are. I struggle. I make poor choices. I fall and by God’s grace get back up again. Aren’t we all really just one bad choice away from possible disaster?

I wanted to post all weekend but as often happens my emotions take over and the right words escape me. They cannot be found. I feel as though I will not do these men honor and many of them deserve honor and respect. I saw a fire in them for Jesus Christ that I am hard pressed to find in our churches. Now I know there are going to be skeptics. Those that say they too could be on fire like that if they were placed in that desperate of a situation where God was really all they had left. Somehow using “real life" and living in a free world as an excuse.

Their relationship was real and they were authentic. They had no reason to try and pretend to be something they were not.

Not only was witnessing this fire and worshipping with them an experience I will not soon forget but the images of them as they grabbed their children and loved on them will be etched in my mind forever. These were men among men. Real fathers who are working hard to make changes that will impact future generations.

At the end of the day I watched a man get down on his knees and pray with his 2 small children. When he finished it was time for goodbye. The little girl started to cry, the man assigned to assist this family was crying. The dad held back his own tears and in an act of bravery said it was time to go. I walked up to him after his children were escorted away and placed my hand on his shoulder and told him that he did more today for those kids in one day then some dads ever do in a lifetime. He told me how hard it was and that he was overwhelmed with emotion. He said he was ready to go lay down, drift off to sleep, and dream. I told him I was proud of him. He is a great man of God. I will pray daily for his release understanding that sometimes God works in ways we never really understand and that He is the author and perfecter of their faith and in His wisdom he may need to stay a while longer.

These men are truly rehabilitated and they are truly free. Freedom behind bars. Who ever knew it was possible. I am ever so grateful that I had the chance to be with them if only for a little while. It was a privilege. God has allowed me to have many opportunities and though it is difficult I lay it all out there when He does. I have left pieces of my heart a lot of places and this weekend a part of my heart is in the Louisiana State Pen. You have inspired me to deepen my faith and to believe in miracles. You are a miracle with your well worn Bibles being carried around in your back pockets. Angola you will always be a part of me.

I will share more stories from the trip later this week.

Have a blessed day!

So much to say....

2010-04-28T19:59:00.003-04:00

At the turn of the final page I was crying. I cry every time. "The Fate of the Yellow Woodbee" - a book I have read a few times. I just finished reading it to Catey. I could barely finish it. Catey was soooo sweet as she hugged me and held my hand so I could choke out the last few pages. It is the story of Nate Saint and the other 4 missionaries that were speared to death in Ecuador. I will never get over the beautiful picture of forgiveness. The book ends with Steve Saint(Nate's son) getting baptized in the same river where his dad was killed(the place that the Aucas saw angels after they speared the men). Not only that, he was being baptized by the same men who did the killing. An amazing story. I just pray that I would be as strong in my faith in those circumstances. The story never fails to inspire me.

On a totally unrelated note I leave tomorrow morning for Angola prison. I am feeling a bit anxious tonight and I am not sure why. I am not afraid of traveling. I have done quite a bit and I actually love it. I am not afraid of the prison because I had the opportunity to work in a prison for a few months when I graduated from paralegal school many years ago and I know what to expect. So, I just can't put my finger on it but if you think of me please pray. Pray for safe travel and health. Pray for the weather. The activities are outside on Saturday and it is supposed to rain. Pray for hearts that are open to the gospel and for clarity to those who have the blessed opportunity to share. Also pray for Greg. He has a very full schedule Thursday and Friday and to say he is going to get a taste of what I do would be an understatement.

I am sitting here alone and I should be packing. Nothing like waiting until the last minute. Carla and I were talking about taking our bathing suits because the hotel has a pool and hot tub. The idea of these very white legs putting on a bathing suit is making me cringe. Ugh! No wonder I am procrastinating!

Right before I started typing this I was thinking about what my life will be like some day when my kids grow up(they are at AWANA right now) and I came to two conclusions:

1. The silence is deafening.

2. I eat way too much when they aren't here. I don't know if it is because I can eat whatever I want without sharing(sad I know) or if it is just easier to feed one person. Either way I have had too much to eat tonight:)

Anyway, that was totally random but I think it is just another reminder to cherish today because the sands of time are slipping through my fingers and there ain't a dang thing I can do about it.....

Well, I am off to pack my bags. I am leavin' on a jet plane, don't know when I will blog again. I will do my best to update at some point this weekend!

Have a blessed night!

Not always what it seems....

2010-04-27T10:21:00.002-04:00

I had the best time on Saturday doing a training for women's ministry leaders. I am on a team for the EFCA Eastern District. We got to spend the day with leaders from several churches. I just love to be able to encourage women, especially these women in leadership, because so often they are called to be the ones doing the enouraging and they need their own cheerleader also.

God has definetley blessed me in my ministry to women and aside from my family I have found the MOST pleasure in my life being able to be apart of other women's lives.

When my session came in the afternoon and I stood before those women I just had to tell them how beautiful they were. They were from different ages and stages of life with different backgrounds and had different types of ministries but they were all beautiful.

Now if you would have seen me on Saturday you might have thought that I didn't look to bad myself. I actually had a skirt on. Something you will rarley ever find me in. I am as girly as a girl that you can find but I love my denim. I live in a pair of jeans and maybe should be buried in them:) Anyway I had to do this training and attend a memorial service so I actually dressed up.

Here's the thing about being dressed up, I do clean up o.k. I guess. I can put on pretty clothes and some makeup that does wonders. I can fix my hair and smile but that doesn't change who I am on the inside. I NEVER want to be known for my appearance but as girl who loves Jesus with all her heart and lives a life that truly reflects that.

Because beauty is fleeting. I look in the mirror and somedays can't believe how fast. I don't know about you but it sometimes hits me at record speed. Wrinkles appear overnight and gravity takes hold and doesn't let go without a fight and even then some things remain.

I was approached when it was all over by one of the ladies. She said she took one look at me and almost wrote me off as "one of those speakers" who has it all together and she did not want to hear from someone like that again. It caught me off guard because I know my heart and my struglles and I definetely DO NOT have it all together. She was so gracious and beautiful herself by the way and went on to tell me that what I said spoke to her the most. I talked about giving up control and the fact that we can't do a million things to the glory of God. I shared my own struggle with control.

Anyway yesterday as I was cleaning the house, my hair completely a mess, no make-up on my face, and sweat dripping off me I chuckled and thought I wish she could see me now because this is who I am. I clean bathrooms and scoop dog poop. I have cleaned up any number of bodily fluids off places in my home. I do not live a glamorous life. I have struggles and insecurities. I yell at my kids and have the need to apologize often. I fight like wild with my husband and thank God for His grace all the time. I am also thankful for concealer but know better than anyone that some things you can't cover up. Who we are and what we believe is what will show up on the outside.

I don't ever want to appear to anyone as someone who has it all together because things are not always what they seem. We do each other a disservice when we wear that mask and appear that way. I am a real woman with real struggles and real areas that God is still working on. So just remember the next time you look at someone who you thinks has it all....they do not. Perfection is inattainable this side of heaven and no one escapes the hardships this life has to offer.

I guess I just wanted to share that in case you for some reason thought I had it together here all the time. I also want us all to examine our own lives and be sure that we are being real all the time so someone doesn't write us off before they hear our message of hope that Christ has to offer them.

Have a blessed day!

Frantic!

2010-04-21T09:46:00.003-04:00

I woke up this morning and like every other morning as I make my way downstairs I stop and look at my kids sleeping. Maybe if we didn't live in a hundred year old house that requires me to walk through their bedroom to get to the steps I wouldn't have formed this habit but I doubt it. I would still probably peek in on them. I love to watch them sleep. I look at their precious innocent faces and it energizes me. It brings fulfillment and purpose to my life and I relish the stillness when usually they are going a hundred miles an hour when they are awake.

Well today was different. Abijah and Catey were not where I left them last night when they went to bed. They were not in the bottom bunk with Colton. They were not in the top bunk. They were not in Catey's bed or in Cayla's room or in the living room. I started to feel panic. I was frantic. I yelled for Greg who flew up the steps and checked all the places I already checked. I couldn't breathe. I think I was about to call 911 when we heard a faint sound. It came from Catey's room. I found them curled up on the floor fast asleep on the other side of her bed where they could not easily be seen. You couldn't see them when you just looked in the door at the bed. They made a "bed" there to camp out after I went to bed.

I rejoiced and I cried. The thought of a lost child is almost too much to bear let alone two. It took me a while to recover from that. I thought a lot about God, our heavenly Father and how he must feel when He "loses" one of us and the rejoicing in heaven when we are found.

I used to put a lot of emphasis on perfection. Now I put a lot of emphasis on repentance and grace. Redemption not perfection. Just know if you feel like you have been wondering a little too far lately don't panic there is ALWAYS a way home.

Then Jesus told them this parable: "Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.'I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent. The Parable of the Lost Coin: "Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Does she not light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.' In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." ~Luke 15:3-10

Have a blessed day!

Can I be o.k.??????

2010-04-15T19:33:00.003-04:00

% of Bible Believers.........

Grandparents
65%

Parents
35%

Generation Y
4%

88% Christian Raised Children Leave Church at 18 and....

NEVER RETURN!!!!!!!!

I read these statistics today. I was saddened. When you have a child who chooses to walk away from the Lord the emotions can be paralyzing. "Anything but this" you say to yourself because you know anything else you can help them with. You can fix it. This you can not. You can not believe for them. They have to own it. Isn't that all we want from the beginning anyway? For them to own it. But when they don't our heart breaks.

So today I had two questions I needed to ask myself. Will my child come back like the prodigal son? And if not, can I still be o.k.??? Tough questions. The first I can't answer I can only pray and pray and pray some more. The second though is complicated but at least it has an answer.

YES! I can be o.k. I can choose today, in spite of the sadness I feel, to believe and trust God. To love Him more than anything else in my life. To honor Him even when I don't get the answers I want.

After yet another conversation with my son, in which I felt like I was being pecked to death by a duck by the way, I wanted to give up hope and fall apart. I stood at the same crossroads that I have stood at so many times before but this time I chose to just believe that I am free and even though Satan wants me to lose hope I don't need to.

His word says it is for freedom that we have been set free. It doesn't say that we will eventually be free but that we are free. I don't need that old yoke of slavery anymore. I am o.k. I can be o.k. tomorrow even if the first question doesn't get answered. Even if there is more being pecked by the duck!!!! I AM FREE!

I read an awesome book on raising teens. It is called "The Space Between" by Walt Mueller. I wish I had read it years ago and highly recommend it to anyway with children in their life.

I hope if anyone reading this is struggling with a prodigal child knows that they too can be o.k. God sees our pain. He hears our cries. He knows our heart. What we sow in tears we will someday reap in joy. Praise Him! Hallelujah! Have a blessed night.

Make a Memory

2010-04-14T09:43:00.003-04:00

This is a poem I wrote about my son for a group of young moms I was speaking to. I wanted to encourage them to spend time with their kids and not worry about all the little stuff. Some lessons we unfortunately learn the hard way.....

Wash the dishes, do the laundry
Please be quiet, not today
Can’t you see I am busy now
Can’t you see I have no time to play

We’ll play tomorrow if I can
But for now just run along
I have to get the house just right
You know I can’t get this all wrong

I busy myself and days turn to years
I miss your giggles and your grin
Too big now to play with me
As I sit and think what should have been

Did I give you what you needed
I cleaned the house, did the carpool
Thought I’d always have another day
You grew too fast, I was a fool

I see wasted days and wasted moments
Thinking I had all kinds of time
I blink my eyes and you grew up
Where’s that little boy of mine

Where’s the boy I used to hold
He’s taller now than I am
When’s the last time I picked you up
I can’t remember now you’re a man

So young mom you must listen up
Each new day is a chance to be
The mom that God created
Now go today and make a memory!

It works!

2010-04-08T10:42:00.005-04:00

I just finished up my 15th small group Bible study. I can barely believe it. Where does the time go???? All total I have had the privilege of spending around 125 weeks in group studies not to mention the time I have spent just digging up treasures on my own. It is truly a treasure hunt. It all started a few years ago with a few ladies huddled in a small office at our church doing the study "Believing God".

My life was forever changed. I will NEVER be the same. From that point on a fire was lit in my heart to know God and a fierce hunger grew in me for His Word. It was not always easy. Some of them I had to fight through with tears. Some I almost wanted to give up on because the work was too much. I have been on a journey over the last few years and have learned more about who I am in Christ and who God is than I could have ever imagined. I always finish a study with mixed emotions. Happy I finished. Sad it's over. Wonder of what will be next because each one teaches me something new and different.

All I can say is it does work. Studying His Word will have a profound effect on your life. The key is to not give up when the work gets hard. Wrestle the thing out and be tenacious about your time with God. Be fierce and stand firm. He is faithful.

Maybe the Bible hasn't ever seemed very exciting or very applicable to your current situations. I promise you it is. Ask Him to light a fire in your heart like He did in mine a few years back. He will do just that and when He becomes the One Thing you know you could never live without you will know twhat I am talking about. I don't think I would have ever survived some of the things I was going through without it. If you feel like your barely surviving right now give it a try. It will work. It will work. IT WILL WORK!!!! I promise.

I am not special in anyway. In fact because I have such a need for His Word it shows me what a mess I really am or could be without Him. What I am sharing here is available to anyone. Be diligent and it will work wonders in your life.

What's next for me????? One never knows.....I am reading an excellent book right now about the warden at Angola Prison in Louisiana that I will be visiting at the end of the month. I can't wait to see what God does in my life while I am there.

I have finished a few good books over the last few weeks and hope to blog about them soon. Until then have a blessed day!

Beyond theTattoo.....

2010-04-01T08:17:00.004-04:00

The newest tattoo...yes, this is my oldest son. He got this "little" piece of artwork last night. How do I feel you might ask??? Well, this is his third tattoo and of course I have all the thoughts a mom would have. Will he regret it someday? Will it hinder him from a job in his future? Should he be spending his money on this? What will people think of me as his mom?

But in the end God is always gracious and gives me a new lesson to learn and insight into this son I love. God has taught me to look beyond the tattoo to the man my son is becoming. I learned to pray about each of his tattoo's.

One says "R.I.P. Grandma" in honor of his great grandma who he was very close to. I pray everyday that he would remember the godly woman that she was and desire to honor her life through the way he lives his.

The other is a skateboard bent in half in the shape of a heart. He says he got this because skateboarding was his first "love". I thank God that he gave him a gift and a talent that he loves. I pray that God would take this thing he loves so much and use it in a mighty way someday for God's glory.

And finally this tattoo, "In God's Hands". Oh yes baby that is where I have had to place you almost daily for 19 years and struggle every time I took you back because I wanted to be in control. You will never believe what I have gone through to put that child at the foot of the cross and leave him there. I have sowed many tears and I praise God because I know He is faithful and I will reap a harvest of joy someday. I have also experienced the thrill of victory when the time between when I lay him at the cross and when I am tempted to pick him back up has become longer and longer.

The lessons that God has taught me through that child have been priceless. Eternal. Things I would not have learned any other way. I am a better person, mom, and follower off Christ because of all this. Because Chris and everyone else who I dearly love are "In God's Hand's" it gives me a stronger desire to be close to God so to be close to those He holds and has "tattooed" in the palm of His hand!

When I finally got to the point that I cared more about my child and his relationship with God and my own freedom in Christ rather than what other people might think I was finally free. Caring about how we will look or own pride is bondage.

My son is searching right now. I know that. I pray the heavens down on him daily. I choose to trust God. I know that in Chris' search to fill the "void" and find out who he is, even in the valleys, is where his walk will become real. If we could only learn as parents to let go and let God do His work. I know too many times I interfere. "In God's Hands" yep, that is exactly where my son is and that is exactly where I want him. So today I look beyond the tattoo and to the future. The place where God has a plan and purpose for each thing me and my son go through.

So what about you? Is there someone in your life that you have struggled to lay at the cross? Have your kids made decisions that scare you half to death? Go to God daily and leave it all there. He is faithful and He will do a wonderful work in their life and yours.

Have a blessed day!

Newsweek

2010-03-30T16:26:00.002-04:00

MSN's homepage this morning caught my eye and made me laugh. It said "Will We Have Our Bodies in Heaven?" I wish I could have replied for all the world to see....

NO! No! No! No, we will NOT! No calorie counting or calculating how much we need to run to go to Rita's or anything else! Just a banquet table spread out in front of us, with rich food by the way - no nonfat lattes there, and a perfect body!!!!

Hallelujah and amen!

Can't get any better than that!

Have a blessed day!

Perfect Peace!

2010-03-29T09:29:00.002-04:00

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. ~Isaiah 26:3

Is that just beautiful or what??? This was the verse that started out our homework last week in Breaking Free. This Bible study has been so good and also a bit different for me. Since I have learned so much over the last few years about taking my thoughts captive and about freedom in Christ I am learning to handle things differently. I was also thinking that this is the first study in a long time that I am not in a crisis or is it?

You see I still have things that could send me into fetal position crying my eyes out in some corner but my response lately has been different. I am finding perfect peace. Last week something happened with one of my kids(imagine that) and I was tempted to lose it. I did cry a bit but instead I repeated this verse over and over in my head. So much so that I woke up in the middle of the night saying it. I would say it and emphasize different words each time just letting it soak in deep.

In the past I would have been tempted to say the verse once or twice and when I didn't feel the perfect peace right away I would give up. Not this time. This time I decided to keep my mind steadfast and just trust in Him. The freedom is amazing. I repeated it until it finally stuck!

This is not just something available to a few select people. This my dear sweet friends is available to all of us.

So what's bothering you today and threatening to take your peace? Keep your mind steadfast and trust in Him no matter what you are feeling at the moment. The feelings will eventually come but sometimes we just have to obey no matter what we feel or how hopeless the situation seems to us.

I hope you find some encouragement in this like I did today! Be blessed!

Returning Hearts

2010-03-23T06:56:00.001-04:00

Just wanted to post a video and let you all see where Carla and I will be headed the end of April. We are looking forward to serving with this ministry. Click here to watch and let me know what you think!

Have a blessed day!

Monday - Monday - Monday

2010-03-22T13:50:00.002-04:00

I ran the following post a few months back. I woke up this morning with my mind in a twirl. I needed to listen to my own words and do a little planning instead of feeling overwhelmed. I am happy to say that I have checked quite a few things off my list so far today. I hope this helps you as you plan your week:

I am a procrastinator. Have been as long as I can remember. I was the one who crammed for tests and waited until the night before a paper was due to write it. This has its advantages and disadvantages. I used to look at it only in a negative light but I realized having the ability to put some things aside and just enjoy life has its advantages.

Unfortunately I have been putting too much aside lately and I need to gain some control. I have a few things that need my attention NOW! So today my choice I am making is to:

1. Pray
2. Prioritize
4. Plan
3. Put it into action

I want God to order my "to do" list. I don't want the list to control me but be a guide. If God brings some unexpected thing my way today that is ok too. His word is clear.....

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. ~Proverbs 16:3

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. ~Proverbs 16:9

I am also going to make a list but set a goal of doing the top three things today. If I took a list and thought I had to accomplish it all today I would become overwhelmed and would shut down and accomplish nothing. I am going to take baby steps today. A small choice to make life a bit easier.

My list looks like this:

1. Get the house cleaned up.
2. Send some e-mails I have been putting off.
3. Mail a cd to someone who contacted me as a possible retreat speaker.
4. Work on financial aid stuff with Chris.
5. Organize school work for the week.
6. Finish Bible study homework for tomorrow

You get the idea. I have a lot swirling around in my mind and I just need to sit down and get a list going and have God help me to prioritize and get things done. Not everything today but I bet by the end of the week I can have this list gone!

So remember today to choose to Pray, Prioritize, Plan, and Put it into action!

Have a blessed day!

Livin' with a rebellious heart....

2010-03-17T06:37:00.000-04:00

Struggling. Wrestling. Fighting. That is what I spend most of my time doing with God. I don't want it to be that way. Actually, I hate it. I have been doing a lot of thinking about this lately. I believe the root is being revealed to me.

I am a results oriented person. I like to set high goals. I always say I can endure anything for a time if I know what the result will be in the end. But what happens when we endure and we endure and don't get the result we want? I know what my first reaction is...rebellion! And at the root of that rebellion is my need to control everything including the outcome. Well, in case you haven't noticed you can't control people for sure and often you can't control the circumstances that come your way.

Last week in Bible study we spent the week looking at rebellion. Here are the five characteristics of a rebellious child of God from the study Breaking Free:

1. A rebellious child of God doesn't act like a child of God.

2. A rebellious child of God isn't willing to listen to the Lord's instruction.

3. A rebellious child prefers pleasant illusions over truth.

4. A rebellious child of God relies on oppression.

5. A rebellious child of God depends on deceit.

Wow! Do I do that? Yes, sometimes I have been known to do all five. It has been a lot to think about this week but God is so gracious. He doesn't bring us anything to condemn us but to bring us freedom!

I hope to be posting more often but the reality of it is I have a very busy next few days. Greg, Cayla, Catey and I will be spending the day tomorrow in Hershey. There is a Toby Mac and Skillet concert tomorrow night. We will go help the caterer for breakfast and lunch and then Greg will take the girls back tomorrow night for the concert. I need to stay home and make sure I am all prepared to speak to a MOPS group Friday morning. Greg will be teaching my K/1st grade class again. He cracks me up because he said he doesn't want to be "outdone" by the other teachers so he wants a really cool lesson.

Cayla has her first scrimmage Friday night. I will be at an event with EFCA in New Jersey all day on Saturday. So....if I don't get on again until next week I am sorry! I do think about the blog everyday but I don't always get to post. Hope your day is blessed!

This is where I'm at.....

2010-03-12T06:54:00.005-05:00

Haven't been on here for over a week because we have been so busy and somehow with everything going on I have fallen behind on my housework. I feel like the old lady on the commercial, "I've fallen and I can't get up!" So I have been slowly digging my way out this week. I must not be doing to good though because poor Cayla came to me yesterday......

All that was left for her to take her shower was the little monkey towel and the little crab/puppet wash clothe. So maybe I do have a little more catching up to do....

I did have a great girls weekend away last weekend. I am thankful for all my girlfriends and a hubby who let's me go. He had to teach my co-op class and he forgot the book so he said it was no big deal he just improvised. I got a message from the person who helps me and she said he did a good job. What a great guy.

When I got home I originally thought I was going to be away with the EFCA ladies this weekend but that got canceled so it gives me a little more time to get caught up so Greg isn't drying off with the little ducky towel all weekend.

I was putting a mountain, and I mean a mountain, of wash away last night when Carla came over. I told her I needed a vacation and I can't wait to go away the end of April with her. She bust out laughing because the end of April we are going to the Lousiana State Penitentiary(also known as Angola prison). It is the largest maximum security prison in the United States. We are going to do some mission work. You know it's bad when a trip to a maximum security prison is what you are looking forward to as a vacation:)

On a more exciting note Cayla made the high school softball team. We were so excited. The stress of it leading up to Wednesday was almost too much and at the end of practice they handed out envelopes telling you if you made it or not. She was thrilled. I am so proud of her. She has worked hard for this and I can't wait to be sitting in the sun watching her play and yelling my fool head off when she does something great!

The house has been quiet with a little less "traffic" this week because Chris and some of his friends were away all week for spring break. I will be happy to have him back and have a bunch of boys eating us out of house and home tonight. This letting go and "change of seasons" is threatening to nearly kill me.

Bible study has been a bit tough this week. Day one was about rebellion. I do have a rebellious heart and I hate it. I can tell when I am pulling away from God. I am very goal oriented/results oriented and when things don't go my way I pull back. I am going to post more about this in the next few days.

I guess I better go get ready for co-op and stop rambling. Just wanted to give you a quick update on what's going on here. Hope you have a blessed day!

books, books, books

2010-03-04T18:52:00.004-05:00

I love to see words in print. I always have. Nothing more exciting than cracking open a brand new book. I love the smell of it and the sound it makes and nothing sounds better to me than sitting in church or Bible study and listening to the sound of pages in a Bible flipping.

I have a zillion books. Some I have read, some are partially read, and still others I have yet touch. It is almost an obsession really. Some of my best memories are of my grandma taking me to the library and checking out a bunch of books. I would then go to her apartment and spend the afternoon on her red leather recliner getting lost in the words.

I was taken to the little farm in Charlottes Web and the magical world of Narnia. I would be so lost and mesmerized that I wouldn't move the whole afternoon. I loved to write when I was little too. I remember writing a rhyming book and illustrating it all by myself. I was so proud of that book. I think what made it so special is my dad was proud of it. He had a bunch of friends at our house one day and he made me show it to them. I just couldn't believe it. Precious memories.

So here is my fear.....is the printed word going out of style??? Are libraries and used book sales going to be a thing of the past? I hope not. I can't imagine reading everything digitally. I thought about asking for a Kindle for Christmas. Greg thought it would be an excellent idea. The problem is how would I dog ear pages and underline important things??? And what about the books that move me and change me and are stained with my tears?

Today go to the library or book store. Buy a real book. Read. Let your kids see you read. Encourage them to. Read out loud as a family. I love to hear Greg reading to the kids and some of my best school days are spent on the couch curled up reading to the kids. It is something you will never regret. Who knows where it will take you. Books can transport us places we otherwise may never go.

Well I need to go, I am going away for the weekend. I need to pack(books of course)and clean up and help poor Greg with his lesson tomorrow. He is taking my place at our co-op and needs to teach K & 1st grade.

By the way, what do you think of the new blog design??? I would love to hear from you. Have a blessed day!

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Where's the flu?????

2010-03-03T07:57:00.003-05:00

The front page of our local newspaper recently ran an article saying the flu has not "shown up" in our area so far this season. I am sure this is the same newspaper that created a frenzy in the fall warning of how bad the flu season would be this year and that there was a shortage of vaccines.

A frenzy. Doesn't take much to create one does it??? We are a worrying people. We worry if we have enough or if we have too much. We worry about illness, finances, disasters, and if God really does care. We spend our days keeping our self busy in hopes of escaping those dark places of worry but inevitably night comes and we are left with our deepest and darkest fears staring is right in our face.

I heard Tony Evans say that there is a difference between worry and concern. Worry controls you. Concern you have control of. I know that I am often controlled my worry. It effects my health, my relationships, and my reaction to uncontrollable circumstances. We are told many times in the Bible to not be afraid, to not fear, and to not worry.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ? "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. ~Matthew 6:25-34

So there we have it. The remedy for worry. Just don't. Seek first the kingdom and everything else will be ok. Easier said than done but not impossible. We can retrain our thought process with God's help. We can be different today than we were yesterday but it is a choice. We need to choose today or even just for this moment to not allow worry to take control of us. Then an amazing thing happens. Moment by moment and day by day we change. Worry isn't what we default to anymore. Faith is. A powerful thing isn't it.....The God of the universe that knows every single hair on our head(and our loved ones by the way)steps in and takes control of our life. No more worry filled life just faith filled abundant living.

Have a blessed and worry-free day!

The Heart of a Mother

2010-03-01T08:17:00.005-05:00

I am sitting here having my second cup of coffee. I need to be starting school and getting things moving around here but I couldn't without first jumping on the blog and giving a little update.

I have been up since 5:30. I get up and make sure my son gets off to class. His first one starts at 7:00 on Mondays and Wednesdays and with my mama heart I can't bear the thought of him getting up and leaving alone without someone to say goodbye, I love you, and please be careful. After that I see Greg off to work, saying the same three things.

I guess it doesn't really matter how old they get(kids not husband - him and I are already old:)some things never change.

I have been struck lately watching the Olympics and hearing the stories about the parents of these athletes and the sacrifices they have made to get their kids where they are. I love when they show the parents faces after a medal is won. The look of pride and overflowing love. I almost like that more than seeing the actual athlete.

The funny thing about it is your kid doesn't even need to be an Olympic athlete to feel that way. My heart overflows when I watch my 7 year old make his first basket or my daughters first home run last year in softball. I would have to say that I think I feel their victories and defeats more deeply then I feel my own. Motherhood is an amazing thing.

I am just so blessed to be where I am at right now. Now I do not want to paint a picture of perfection here. This is not a place of b-ball shots always made and home runs all the time. We have disappointments, arguments, and fears for our kids. I spend much of my time just crying out to God over things but at the end of the day I know I would not have had this life any other way. I would not trade it for anything in spite of all the worry, sleepless nights, and gut wrenching crys that I have been privileged to go through. It has made me the woman I am today. God knows the heart of parent. He was one. He witnessed and felt the victories and the pain of His child also.

I am going to talk about worry sometime this week but for now I will leave you with a picture of Coco right before he made his very first basket ever. You could probably hear me cheering two towns over. I know I was as proud as any parent of an Olympian. Have a blessed day!

Snow Flakes

2010-02-25T12:59:00.004-05:00

I see the snow falling outside my window. Right now it is the big flakes that kind of blow around a bit before falling to the ground. They make there way down to the ground swirling in circles and blowing to the right and to the left before settling gently on the ground.

It is a picture of how my mind has been lately. Swirling. Going left. Going right. Floating higher and then lower. Decisions to be made and work to be done. When life gets this way(and it often does)I have to stop and ask myself two questions:

1. Am I listening for God's direction?
2. If I think I am and still can't hear Him, why?

The first one is a no brainer. I know if I have even attempted to listen for God's voice or not. But the second is a bit trickier. Sometimes in all my self-righteousness I think I am listening when I'm really not. I know what I want and I try to manipulate the situation to get the result I want. Not only that but I want to hear Him in a big way. I want to hear Him like a roaring wind, or earthquake, or maybe even a fire. But all too often He speaks in a "gentle whisper" and I need to be still and quiet myself to be able to hear it. That is how He showed Himself to Elijah and that I am sure is how He would like to reveal Himself to me.

The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the LORD is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. ~1 Kings 19:11-12

So as the snow here continues to swirl around I know my mind does not need to. I just need to sit back and listen for the gentle whisper. Have a blessed day!

Update

2010-02-23T06:05:00.004-05:00

Since I haven't posted in a week:( I thought I would give you an update. I saw this on another blog and thought it would be a good way to give you a glimpse of what's going on here!

Outside my window... it's dark, cold, and rainy:( It is only 6 AM though.

I am thankful for... Bible study today. Whoo Hoo! And a very gracious husband - last week I was a bit rough on him(ok Greg I know "a bit" is putting it mildly).

I am praying for... Many, many things. My hubby needs a new car and I am really struggling with homeschooling. So much so that I actually visited a school last week and if it wouldn't be for finances I think I would put them there. Since we don't have the extra money I am praying for God to either provide it or give me a renewed passion for homeschooling. I do love having them here but I feel like with one in K, one in 2nd, and one in 4th I have alot on my plate and let's not forget about the one in 9th! It's the academic part I struggle with not actually having them home. For the most part they are good outside of the books:) Greg has been great. He has asked me some really good questions like, "whose standard are you measuring them up to?" and "remember why we brought them home to begin with". It had very little to do with academics but I am struggling to find a balance and Satan is having a hay day with this one. He looks for our weaknesses and he seeks to devour!

From the kitchen... the first cup of coffee....ahhhh

I am wearing... p.j.'s of course(remember it is still early)

I am creating... a book. There I said it. I have been working on it forever and plan to meet with a publisher when I go to She Speaks. I can't believe I just told everyone my secret:) I am also working on some new talks for my speaking this spring. I found the coolest thing last night. It is a tablet and it says "The one thing I will do today". God has been laying Psalm 27 on my heart and I can't wait to use this tablet as a visual. God is so good and so creative!

I am reading... So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore and Sacred Echo by Margaret Feinberg

I am hoping... that the kids stay healthy and the weather here improves

I am hearing... the dog pacing around. I always take her over to the living room in the morning and she sits beside me for my quiet time. I jumped on the computer first this morning. Something I know I shouldn't do. She can't seem to figure out why I am up and she is still stuck in the kitchen. I know how she feels. Often times I think "why am I still stuck here". It is usually one of two reasons. Either I refused to move when God was asking or I got distracted by all the "pretty things" and forgot about my "One Thing"!

Around the house... laundry, dishes, clutter, and dust bunnies

One of my favorite things... when my kid's first wake up in the morning. I gave them a rule. When they wake up they need to find their mama, hug her, kiss her, and tell her they love her. They do it every morning and if they forget I hunt them down and remind them:)

A few plans(I never have a "few" plans so this is a bit of a joke) for the rest of the week... Bible study today, school, school and more school, b-ball practice tonight, Awana, softball practices, more b-ball and as luck would have it Greg and I got invited out to dinner Friday night and also to some one's house on Saturday night. Yes! I also need to do some writing and planning for the next few weeks. March is a very busy month.

Well there you have it. A glimpse into my well organized chaos! I hope you have a blessed day!

Valentines day, babysitting, b-ball, and the One I love....

2010-02-15T15:53:00.004-05:00

Wow! I can't believe how fast time flies. I get sick, my computer gets sick, it snows and it snows some more. Friday night I had my niece's baby Olivia, Saturday we spent at b-ball, Saturday night was a date night for me and my hubby, and Sunday was church and some more babysitting(this time it was my grandson).

I also spent two more hours on the phone with Dell only to find out that when my computer was all erased some "drivers" were not installed. I didn't even know my computer had "drivers" and quite frankly I am a bit jealous. I would love a driver to do all the dang running around I do:)

The weekend was such a whirlwind I hardly had time to think about Valentine's day. I always feel a bit guilty that I don't acknowledge it more but sometimes I just end up in survival mode. For some reason though yesterday amidst all the busyness I kept humming a song. Not only did this song keep going through my mind but I kept singing the same part over and over. I must tell you whenever I hear/sing this song I do always choke up at this part(see if you know the song):

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;

If you guessed "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" than you were right. If you have no idea what I am talking about that's ok. It is a beautiful old hymn you can listen to below.

Anyway, I choke up at that point every time because it describes me perfectly. Always prone to wondering and ALWAYS leaving the One I love. I think of all the indescribable gifts He gives and I can't believe that I wonder away. But I do. I make plans and lists and have goals that often leave Him from the equation. Ugh!

I read something this weekend that really got me thinking though:

One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. ~Psalm 27:4

ONE THING. What if He became the one thing? The one thing I seek. The one thing I put first on my to-do list. The one thing I don't forget and the one thing I go to first when life knocks me around. Would my wondering become less and less??? I am so sure it would.

He is the one thing that will never let us down, never leave us, never hurt us and never deceive us. All the other things we put in first place always do and always will. After some research look at the words to the original 4th stanza to this hymn:

O that day when freed from sinning,
I shall see Thy lovely face;
Clothed then in blood washed linen
How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace;
Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,
Take my ransomed soul away;
Send thine angels now to carry
Me to realms of endless day.

Hallelujah! I get tears just thinking about it. He is so good. Praise Him. Today let's make Him our ONE THING! Have a blessed day!

I am still here....

2010-02-11T11:42:00.003-05:00

So I go down with a virus on Saturday and my computer goes down with a virus on Tuesday. Mine was much easier to fix. A little rest and I am back to normal. The computer on the other hand takes an hour and a half on the phone with the virus protection guy who tells me I don't have a virus and 7 hours on the phone with Dell who tells me I have a virus and my computer is in bad shape. Had to start all over luckily he saved my pictures and documents. Oddly enough though I just had Chris save the book I have been working on forever to one of those little Flash Drive thingy's last week. I am not sure what prompted me to do that. God is soo good!

Now I am having an issue with my mouse jumping all over the place so this post will be short. I e-mailed Dell and asked if they could help as a part of what they charged me yesterday. If not I am not sure what I will do since it cost too much already yesterday to fix and update virus protection.....

On the brighter side of things I did have an awesome time speaking at a wonderful luncheon on Tuesday. If I don't toss my computer right out the window today I will hopefully be able to tell you more about it soon.

One last thing...I joined Beth Moore's So Long Insecurity discussion group on her blog. I encourage you to get the book and join in.

Have a blessed day!

I'm up then I'm down....

2010-02-08T12:32:00.002-05:00

'Cause you're hot then you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in then you're out
You're up then you're down
You're wrong when it's right

Sounds more like my faith then words to a popular song. Today I'm okay. I'm not okay. I'm between the schoolroom and the laundry room. I had a flat tire and right now my faith feels "flat". I am struggling with relationships and health issues. I was sick all weekend. Actually sicker than I have felt in a very long time. I always feel the longing to just have a day to do nothing and stay in bed and then it comes by way of sickness and I think what did I wish for????

Between the snow we had and the snow we are getting I had to cancel 3 speaking engagements for Wednesday. I was looking forward to them and now instead I have a Dr.'s appt. to go to tonight. Great replacement, hugh???

I feel like a wave tossed in the sea. Thankfully I don't have to stay that way. He is faithful and His word is truth:

He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. ~Psalm 40:2 NLT

I am going to have to depend on that truth today and not on the way I feel. My feelings will deceive me, His word will NOT!

Steady me oh Lord! Get me back on solid ground and thank you that you will be faithful to me even when I am faithless.

How about you? How are you doing today? I would love to hear from you:)

Have blessed day!

Grab a Tissue....

2010-02-04T08:37:00.002-05:00

Found this on a friend's blog this morning. It's a bit long but well worth watching. I live a lot of perfectly ordinary days. I am priveleged to have had my family in stages so I have learned much about letting go and cherishing the ordinary. Two of mine are gone, one has a foot out the door, one is turning into a beautiful women in front of me, and three are still here filling my days with messes, giggles, and mundane but perfectly ordinary days. How I wish I could go back. But we can't so we just move forward today. If you are a young mama hang on to those long, hard days because they will be gone in a blink and there you stand holding just the memories because that's all we got left. Have a blessed day!

Insecurity

2010-02-03T15:28:00.002-05:00

I see her often. We keep crossing paths. I am not exactly sure why but maybe I should be asking God why so I am not missing something He is trying to do. Anyway, she is stunningly beautiful for her age. Her outward beauty is undeniable and inwardly she seems very sweet and very sincere. I mean she is just darling.

When we first met I felt a twinge of jealousy. She looked great. She seems wealthy(although I don't know this for a fact some of her recent purchases she told me about today would indicate it). Kids are all grown. Empty nest. Travels. Are you starting to see where the twinge of jealousy is coming from????

That was until today. Today I really listened intently to what she said. Today I saw something within her that seemed a bit empty. Maybe lonely. I started thinking about the things she has and thought would I really ever trade the peace I have within me for that?

Nah....That's the only answer I can come up with. I saw some insecurity in her. I started wondering if she has something deep within her that she is trying to feed. I know all about this. I wrestle with my own demons when it comes to insecurity (who am kidding - that is putting it mildly) but I am coming out on the other side of the battle and I would NEVER want to go back. Not for any amount of wealth or eternal youth or anything else for that matter. It is too exhausting. I teared up the other day just thinking back on some of the stupid things I have done that were totally driven by fear and insecurity. Really stupid, life altering things. I can hear God whisper "we've come too far baby to ever go back"!

You know we can buy all kinds of things and do all kinds of things to try and feel secure but in the end we will get old and it will all be for nothing right? I mean no amount of hair dye or expensive haircuts in Philly or great $200 jeans will ever really keep us will they. I don't want to grow old fighting that battle. I am too weary from all the battling I have already done.

She is a beautiful woman. I prayed for her today. I started reading "So Long Insecurity" by Beth Moore yesterday. I pray that woman I keep crossing paths with finds real security and can have her own farewell party for the things that she is grasping at. Things that don't ever really fulfill that empty space. I will keep praying but in the mean time I will continue on in my own journey to a place of secure, peaceful living. Gray hairs, lines, and wrinkles and all.

Have a blessed day!

January 31

2010-01-31T18:34:00.002-05:00

Can you believe we are at the end of January???? This has been a crazy busy month and I am just coming off an especially crazy week. I think of you often and you are not far from my thoughts as I am running around trying to maintain some kind of order in my life. Even if I don't get a chance to post I am thinking of you and hoping I am not disappointing you or letting anyone down.

Not only was I blessed to have the opportunity to speak last Sunday but I also spoke on Wednesday in Marysville to a wonderful group of women. Thank you ladies. With that and Bible study that started up again, basketball practices and games, softball practice, appointments for my grandma, school, co-op, drums, etc....My feet hit the ground running every morning. I'm not complaining. I do love the craziness of it all. I am praying though. I read a devotional on being too busy. I felt a twinge of conviction and may have to have a meeting with the Big Guy(God) sometime soon to make sure I am doing what He desires for me.

But until I feel Him telling me otherwise...here I am. I actually am sitting at a Starbucks. My wonderful hubby let me have the evening to work on a training I am helping put together with the Eastern District Women's Ministry team. So I really must get to work on that because I have a deadline staring me in the face right now but I just wanted to take a few minutes to let you know I am thinking of you all.

It has been a tough topic we have been on this month and whew! I am glad it is coming to an end although I hope you are able to take what you learned and apply it for a lifetime. I thought I would just quickly sum up some things we have talked about so far and maybe add a few new things for you to process this week. So here goes:

1. Move more.

2. Eat less.

3. Drink more water.

4. Set realistic goals and be sure your motives are right. Evaluate, evaluate, evaluate. It is an ongoing process that doesn't stop tonight. Did you figure out what your triggers are? If not keep looking and praying to get to the root of your bad habits.

5. Always eat breakfast. I don't think I touched on this before but it is a proven fact that thin people and people who maintain weight loss often eat a healthy breakfast.

6. Eat foods in the most natural state possible. The less processed the better. I am not saying you need to go on a raw diet but when we eat food the way that God created it we will see many health benefits.

7. Keep a food journal if you need to. If you can't lose any weight and you can't seem to figure out why start writing everything down. I am often blown away when it stares me right in the face and usually all the excuses I had go right in the toilet when I see how much I have been eating.

8. Reward yourself.....Not with food though and remember to weigh yourself regularly. Once you reach your goals it is much easier to catch a 5 pound weight gain than a 20.

9. Remember that we battle things on 3 fronts. Our flesh, the world, and the Evil one. This just like anything else is a battle and it can be won. You need to wield the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God. Keep memorizing His word. That will be key to any victory over any stronghold not just your weight.

10. Once you have lost your weight get rid of your dang "big" clothes. Don't give yourself the opportunity to wear them again. My wardrobe is very limited in size. I used to keep everything and then I would yo-yo. Now when things get tight I need to do something about it because I don't have my fat clothes to fall back on.

I hope I was able to help and encourage you all in some way. I know it is not easy and I don't want to minimize how great a struggle it can be in our life but I know that through the power of Jesus Christ we can experience victory in any area of our life.

I love you all. Keep journaling and keep memorizing scripture. I hope you have a blessed night.

Watch This!

2010-01-28T13:27:00.003-05:00

I promise you I will get back to my regularly scheduled weight loss posts this evening but my hubby sent me this link and I watched it and I was very sad. This poor woman DOES NOT fully understand the ramifications that come along with the "choice" to abort an unborn child. I do. I wish I didn't. But I do and I believe that God wants me to be a voice for the unborn child and for the woman caught in an unexpected pregnancy. There was a time in my life that I would have been outraged at this woman and her uneducated opinion. Not anymore. I see her as a person who was fearfully and wonderfully made by God and is lost in total darkness. Today I will pray for her. Please watch this and pray and support CBS in their obvious choice to air this commercial.

January 26

2010-01-26T20:36:00.002-05:00

Started a new Bible study this morning. There isn't anything like getting together with those ladies and studying God's word. We are doing the revised edition of Beth Moore's Breaking Free. I have done this study once and I have led it once but it has been revised and God has already been talking to me about some things that I need to be "breaking free" from. If we are going to continue in the process of growing deeper with God it will always be a continual process of letting other things go.

Our weight is no different. If we are going to make this a permanent lifestyle change and not just a passing diet then some things will need to go. We have talked about a lot of them so far. We need to get into our minds that we are not on a diet but on a journey to be healthy.

New verse for you to memorize. It is the first we are memorizing this week in Bible study:

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. ~ Galatians 5:1

Once you get through all the steps to a new healthier you be determined to not become a slave again to your old ways. We don't need to be in bondage to our weight or to food or to anything else. It is for freedom that Christ set us free!

In your journal think about what freedom means. What would freedom in the area of weight loss look like to you. What about freedom from the bondage of food? What if we just saw it as a means to be healthy and didn't constantly need to fixate on it. Turn your thoughts into a prayer to God asking Him to set your free once and for all when it comes to dieting and weight.

Have a blessed night!

January 24

2010-01-24T18:34:00.003-05:00

Thanks to all of you who prayed for me today. The service I spoke at went well and they gave a generous offering to SVPS. I pray that God was glorified through today's service and that He would continue to bless SVPS.

On another totally unrelated note......I eat a lot when I am bored. Do you??? When you were keeping your food journal did you notice that you ate when you were bored???? One way to combat this is to do something that makes it difficult to eat while you are doing it i.e. paint your nails, read, etc...

It is very hard to eat chips and read a good book. You don't want to get the pages all greasy and you definitely can't eat with wet nails:) The point is you need to direct your attention to something other than food.

If you think you want to eat something ask yourself the following questions:

Am I thirsty??? Drink a glass of water and then reevaluate your hunger.

When did I eat last?

Am I bored or stressed?

If you ask yourself those questions and realize you really shouldn't be hungry then find an activity. And make it one that you can't eat easily. Not TV watching:)

In your journal ask God to fill you with His spirit. Ask Him to continue to reveal to you the reasons for your eating habits.

Have a blessed night!

January 23

2010-01-23T20:32:00.002-05:00

Did I say I would post everyday in January???? I don't know if I said it but it was my goal. I am falling a bit short though. I realized I didn't post yesterday and I know I took a few days off last week. Part of me feels like a failure and thinks maybe I should give up on the goal but the other part of me knows the importance of determination.

I guess that would be a good tip for today. If you have a bad day or few days it doesn't mean your a failure and you should give up totally on your weight loss goals. Just get back up. Don't give up. We are so quick after we eat that piece of cake to say I messed up I might as well eat the whole cake. It is a bad mentality to have. One bad choice doesn't make a failure out of you.

You will have a bad day or days depending on the time of the month. That's ok just try to learn from it but keep going. You don't have to throw in the towel. You can make better choices tomorrow. You are not doomed. Satan would love to have you believe all these lies but remember we are combating lies with the truth of God's word.

Today in your journal talk to God about your feelings of failure in the past. Ask Him to help you to see yourself as He sees you through eyes of grace.

Please pray for me. Tomorrow in Sanctity of Human Life Sunday. I am speaking at a church on behalf of our local pregnancy center. If ever there was a topic that I was passionate about and that I want to do well with it is this. It is my heart to convey the importance of supporting our local pregnancy center so that more woman in our area choose life.

Have a blessed night!

January 21

2010-01-21T19:01:00.002-05:00

Did you get a chance to read Lysa's blog post from yesterday???? And did you discover any lies you have been believing??? If you haven't had a chance to do so go back to yesterday and do this. This part will be vital in weight loss success and keeping the weight off.

We can be so bound up in lies of the enemy that we may live our whole life and miss out on the abundant life God has for us. What lies are you believing?????

Today I also want you to think about simple substitutions. I substituted all sorts of things when I started losing weight. I swapped a "100 calorie" pack of cookies for the Oreos I love. I swapped Skinny Cow ice cream for Ben and Jerry's. I went to baked pita chips instead of regular chips.

Now more than ever there are plenty of things you can find to substitute for things you like. The key to making this work though is once again...moderation. You can only eat one pack of the cookies not 5. You can have one serving of the ice cream not 3 and for pity sakes don't sit down and eat the whole bag of pita chips.

This doesn't mean that I don't ever eat real Oreos. It just means for the most part I can find things to swap and save a bunch of calories and still enjoy what I am eating.

In your journal ask God to help you to crave healthy things. Give your cravings over to Him. Ask Him once again to help you to learn self-control. We have the Holy Spirit ladies. We are not alone in this.

Have a blessed night!

January 20

2010-01-20T15:47:00.003-05:00

I read this great post on Lysa TerKeurst's blog today. Well worth the read. So my asignement today for you.....Read it.

After you read it grab your journal and start writing down the lies you have been believing. Once you have a list written pray over it. Pray for God's truth and power to invade your heart. Ask Him to show you the areas you have been believing lies and don't even realize it yet. If He reveals anything to you add it to your list. Then write down all the truths to combat those lies!

Keep memorizing scripture and have a blessed night!

January 19

2010-01-19T19:53:00.003-05:00

Are you writing what you are eating down???? I know it is a pain but you will learn a lot about what and when you eat. Today is a fun challenge. It's sorta like dangling a carrot in front of the rabbit. Sometimes I need a "prize" or reward when I have been working hard. It often motivates me. If housework needs done I will time myself and then "reward" myself with a half hour of reading or something like that.

When you are working hard to lose weight we often think about rewarding ourselves when we reach our goal but I think its good to also reward ourselves along the way. Do something for every 5 pounds lost like buy yourself that book you have been wanting or a new scarf. At 10 pounds think about finding an article of clothing on sale and get it. Do not reward yourself with food(that's a big mistake) and do not buy something 10 sizes smaller and think in 10 pounds you will be able to wear it. Be realistic and have fun. There is nothing wrong with little rewards along the way. It gives you something to look forward to. Another idea is to buy the thing ahead of time but do not allow yourself to read it, wear it, etc. until the goal is reached.

New verse to memorize:

Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.~Psalm 37:4

Get it written on a card and start memorizing it. It is a simple one and it shouldn't take you long.

Today journal about what it means to delight yourself in the Lord. Tell Him what the desires of your heart are. Ask Him if they line up with what He wants for your life. I know that being healthy would be a desire He would also want for us.

Have a blessed night!